It never feels like the new year begins til February for me. Maybe it's because then school returns and our family slots back into a little more routine than rhythm.
Maybe it's because Summer seems to be my season, when I can flow with the tide more effortlessly. Days drift into each other, but presence abounds and gratitude floats freely.
Just like the past four years, this year I've chosen a word to guide my year. But this time I chose my word hesitantly. The word came at me in November, and I pushed against it, willing the universe to perhaps present something a little easier?
Last year's word of light, revealed every bit of darkness I was holding onto. It felt murky, messy, complicated and hard for a long while before even a touch of freedom and light arrived. So this year, when "truth" came to the surface I happily declined. But it kept coming, so Truth it is. My one word, my guiding mantra, weaved into a manifesto of sorts in my mind and thoughts.
And a month in, it's guided me well. It's leading me to seeking {and questioning} my truth - my heart's desire for living this next wondrous year. It's encouraging me to set goals, and take action on them. And it's reminded me to ask myself, "What is your truth here?" in every prickly situation where healing is required. My truth hasn't always been easy to hear, but acknowledging it has only fostered acceptance and growth.
So here's to a year of living from our hearts, speaking our truth, acknowledging and embracing our truth and evolving in gratitude from here.
And to writing more; from the heart.
xx
It's been a long while between posts... almost a year. But truth is, I've desperately wanted to write from my heart and share it here, but I've felt much too vulnerable and the raw words have been left in my journal instead. This year feels different already, and I'm hoping to carve out time to write freely and share a whole lot more. Have you chosen a guiding word for 2019? I'd love to know. Elisa x
Light. I've been capturing it in photographs, tuning into my heart + light within, looking for the light in all situations of late and seeking a lighter load for this year ... Light resonates with how I want to feel, and what I want to share.
It kind of feels like I breathed my way here throughout 2017.
Light is also a reminder for me that out of heaviness, dark, mess and shade, light can be found. And felt. But also it's a promise to acknowledge the shadows, to work with them + love myself through them.
I processed loads of emotion in 2017 and shifted so many limiting beliefs. It felt messy and complicated like a burden at times and a lot like grief + heartache.
With breathe as my guiding word last year, I continually came back to my breath as the answer to most situations - when life felt rushed, in moments I wanted to remember, in stillness and in quiet.
I came back to my breath in the loud of life with three kids.
I took deeper yet lighter breaths while watching the sunset most nights.
I allowed myself to breathe with intention the minute I woke, during meditation, and before I journalled.
For solo minutes, I stopped to just to breathe.
And this practice created a lightness, space and room for the old to release and the new to grow. I feel so much lighter for it. And full of heart, hope + peace. I want to share a little more of this, my light and my heart this year. It feels like with light as my guide, that I've begun with a breath of fresh air.
Xx
Finally sharing my one guiding word for 2018! Three months in, but better late than never! Have you chosen a guiding word for this year? Have you blogged about it? I'd love to know/read about it. Elisa xx
Last year felt murky, messy and ferocious. I struggled processing emotions, and I held on too long when I could have been letting go. At times it felt like I was submerged, other times fighting to stay afloat, all the while consumed by the necessary and emotion-processing, struggling to be free.
But I got there. Though all that muck. And I broke every rule I had created for myself along the way. And I began thinking that the reason I had arrived at this place of resentment and isolation, was perhaps because of all these "rules" I created in the first place.
Last week, with the kids back at school, I went to the sea solo with a plan to swim. The weather was warm but mild and the humidity high, the sky clouded over and the sea looked murky, messy and ferocious - just like my past year.
My first thought on arriving was how beautiful the sea is, no matter what mood it shows up in on any given day.
My second thought? I don't swim on cloud-cover, big-wave days. And then I caught myself touting rules again, and wondered when I made up that one. Time to break it, was my next thought.
And so I dived in. And swam solo for thirty minutes, letting the waves push me back into shore. Letting go of any thoughts I was holding on to. And I felt free. Clear, lighter, supported and free.
And that one swim, despite being a month into the year, felt a lot like me giving myself permission to begin again.
To take charge and see ideas become actions.
To break more rules that, on second thoughts, didn't even serve me that well when they were created.
To write, and actually hit publish.
To freely be me, and to simply just be.
Clarity. It took jumping into a cold and windy sea to get me there.
xx
Here's to writing and sharing here much much more! How are you? What are your plans for this year? And are you a rule-breaker? Elisa xx
