Too many thoughts racing through this head of mine.
...I keep wondering why I still can't work out what I want to be when I grow up...
...I keep thinking how a less than 48-hour escape from routine {this past weekend} brought so much joy, so much wonder, so much of just us and felt like so much time.
...I keep dwelling on all the years I spent striving for perfection. And how long it took me to accept that I'm not perfect, never will be, and not meant to be either. It's such a relief to surrender from that never-ending struggle. I'm grateful to accept I'm imperfect and discover that's more than okay.
...I keep remembering a little girl lacking confidence and scared to speak up. Then I see my little girl {four years old} full of confidence, singing her words, asserting herself and naming her emotions as she goes. And I'm so grateful she's not that little me.
...I keep hearing the word joy. It's become my guiding word/emotion these past few days.
Too many thoughts racing through this head of mine.... So I think I'll just surrender from my thoughts and listen to my heart.
xx
What's on your mind? Please tell me you still don't know what you want to be when you grow up...
I still have no idea what I want to do when I grow up! I often think about what I will do when I go back to work, hopefully something will come to me!
ReplyDeleteI often say those words and wonder when I will see or know what it is that I will be...I'm hoping that it won't take too long to work it out. I too was that little quiet girl, my two certainly aren't quiet that's for sure which I am grateful for :) On my mind right now is when will my teenager really hear what I say and show it with her actions....time I'm sure that's what it will take. xxx
ReplyDeleteBeautiful, acceptance & joy & surrender- all wonderful things
ReplyDeleteDoes anyone really feel that they're a grown up? I think our roles change so often it's hard to define what we actually do sometimes and these are things I'm thinking about too.
Lovely words Elisa. I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up either. I'm turning 42 this year, and the older I get the more I think about what I want to be doing with my life, ie. something that I'm passionate about and brings me joy, and not being stuck in an office like I did before having kids. Finding the right thing is what I'm having trouble with. :) Take it easy, and enjoy time with your beautiful girls. xx
ReplyDeleteWe are all work in progresses Elisa, even if we do know what we want to be when we grow up. I do know, I wanted to be a teacher and I am a teacher, but I am now working on my Masters to become a teacher librarian. Im still working on that person that I want to be, and Im never sure whether Ill even really get there, but as they say its the journey not the destination.
ReplyDeleteMy kids only just stopped asking me what I want to be when I grow up. Now that I know at 42 I need to battle the gremlins who say it is too hard at 42! I remind the gremlins that there are many many years ahead and plenty of time to live that future life doing what I will do "when I grow up" xxxx
ReplyDeleteListening to your heart....you can't go wrong.
ReplyDeleteI no longer think it's a question of what I want to do when I grow up. I now believe it's doing what I want to do, what I'm passionate about , at the particular stage of life I'm at.
eg. Before children, I was happy being a teacher.
When I had children I thought I would go back teaching part time, but I found I didn't want to. I wanted to be a stay at home Mum.
Then I thought I wanted to be a health coach, but I found out I was happy being at home, homeschooling my boys, growing our food, making and baking meals mostly from scratch, homemaking, knitting, reading, sewing etc.
When my boys are older I might want to do something different.
Elisa, I think it's about listening to your heart and doing what you feel is right for you and your family at a particular time. You might try something and find it doesn't work for you and that's OK, at least you gave it a go. The important thing is to keep moving forward and to enjoy the journey. Have fun. xxoo
I think Julie ^^ has some great words of wisdom there, and I also think you have so much wisdom inside you already, as always shows in your writing. Just be you Elisa. Ask yourself how you want to feel, and find something that makes you feel that way. There is also joy in the searching :)
ReplyDeleteI'm have a fair idea of what I want to be when I grow up but I'm stumped on how to get there :) Oh how normal are these thoughts!
ReplyDeleteSophie xo