Tuesday 1 September 2015

Ruby // sixteen weeks later


Our darling baby girl arrived in a whirlwind 16 weeks ago now. It felt as though the wait to this point in the pregnancy had been so very long; the last weeks drawn out with a mixture of exhaustion, stress, soreness and anticipation. 

On Ruby's day I spent the morning and then later in the afternoon with a new feeling, a shift within me - a knowing that our time was soon; and as though cradling me in support the universe saw that five friends sent messages of love and support in those 24 hours before labour began. 

The two days prior I spent in quiet anticipation - making time for reading, yoga, meditation; turning away from social media, walking solo and slowly, and finding myself in conversations that spoke of beauty, wonder, divine timing and support. I felt grateful and ridiculously tired. I thanked and praised my body for growing my baby and supporting us both. I slept a lot. 

That night I went to bed before our two girls. My exhaustion had reached a higher level and it felt like I had no choice but to stop, rest and sleep. In bed I placed a hand on my heart and one on my belly and I tried so hard to hold onto the feeling of my baby girl within me and send her my love. I meditated and drifted into sleep. 

A few hours later our journey to each other began. And after just three hours of intense labour she was safe in my arms. I birthed our baby girl surrounded by my husband and four amazing, strong, calm, confident and loving women. I felt supported and loved. For this, and to them, I am forever grateful. 

In those three hours of labour I heard "You've got this!" from four different people - said with confidence in me, my baby and my body. It became my mantra. And it's stayed with me these past four months. It's stirred a quiet confidence within me. A trust I've never felt before. A trust in the part of me that is home: heart & soul.

And so for the past four months I've lived in a little cocoon with our Ruby - doing what needs to be done, and little extra. I've thought about writing sooner, tried twice but then retreated back to the busyness of loving my three babes. It's a beautiful space, right here right now... and I haven't wanted to venture further til now. I didn't give myself this time or space or allow myself to feel this joy in the early days with the other two girls. And I'm oh so grateful I have this time round. Part of me wants to stay here, and another part of me is ready to emerge, calling me to write again. Slowly, slowly.   

xxxx 

~ A big thank you so so much too for the beautiful messages of congratulations, love and support I have received on the arrival of our baby girl when I shared the news on facebook and instagram, So very grateful. Elisa xx 

12 comments:

  1. So beautifully told, there is something lovely (& exhausting) about that fleeting newborn stage. Glad you've been able to soak it up x

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  2. Take your time, gorgeous, but thanks for letting us into your bubble just a little bit. xxxx PS! Would love to come visit, but have been so unwell I have not wanted to go near any babies or tired mummies. <3

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  3. Congratulations!!! She is beautiful. Enjoy this time. xo

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  4. Congratulations again. Such a beautiful post and i am glad you are back- however whenever yo can manage xxx

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  5. Yes, what a beautiful tale. Congratulations. Kellie xx

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  6. She is so gorgeous Elisa. Enjoy this precious time, don't worry about the blog (although we miss your posts!) just soak all that baby goodness up and enjoy her. As Cherub is close to turning 4, I've become a little sad that our baby days are well and truly over. Give Ruby a cuddle from me. xx

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  7. I love what you wrote here. The way you've written it makes me calm and peaceful. It stuck with me. I had read your post the day you published it, but it stayed in my mind. This morning, I sat on the floor looking at my beautiful 5 year old having an one hour gymnastic lesson. Just watching and enjoying him and the other children. Nothing else, no phone, no book, very few thoughts about other things. With that calm and peaceful feeling. For me, that feeling you write about is also wonderful to have when your children are older, or for anyone anywhere. Keep space and calm between the things you do and during the things you do. Congratulations with your beautiful baby.

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  8. Such a lovely post. Thank you for sharing your beautiful thoughts. Look forward to reading more when you feel ready. :-) Xx

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  9. She is absolutely precious hun. Enjoy your beautiful girl xx

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  10. I know what you mean about making the time and allowing the bonding third time around. I feel exactly the same way. It's so beautiful. I don't know why it is so different third time around. I think it's all about me. Being more calm, knowing what is most important and living a slower existence so I can see and feel it all. Do you find this too?

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  11. She's so beautiful and congratulations! (Better late than never)

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Thank you for your words and support. I'm so glad you stopped by xx