Dreams. And standing in the way.

Just don't go waiting for your dreams.

I was 15 when I heard those words. I was babysitting, keeping an eye on the toddler playing at my  feet while reading my english school book. Her mum was running around grabbing bits and pieces before she rushed out the door to an important dinner.

It was while rattling off the list of before-bedtime things to do, pointing to where this and that was, that she paused to ask... "What is it you want to do?"

"What do I want to do?"

"Yes. When you grow up..."

"Oh right. I'm going to be a writer. Study journalism. Write a book. And travel the world."

Said just like that. Because nothing was going to get in my way, and my priorities would never change, and time would never been an issue. Or so I thought.

She smiled. "Do that. Do it all. You will. I had dreams once."
 
"Once? What did you dream of?"

"Oh it's nothing. Too late now. Just don't go waiting for your dreams, or it might get too late..."

She returned to her list. "And the nappies are here, but she should be fine now. And we'll be back at 10.30, and help yourself to coffee/tea. The biscuits are here..."

"But why is it too late? If it's your dream, it can't be too late..."

"Oh other people are doing it now. Not when I dreamt it up. But now other people have shops like I was going to have... "

"But it can't be too late... Are you sure?" I persisted. If it was her dream. It could never be too late...

She smiled, a knowing smile. As if one day I too would understand.

"I have a child now. Things have changed. It was just a silly little dream..."

Later that night I sat down in the quiet of the house, a little girl sound asleep. I stirred my coffee gently, I looked out into the dark of the night and I wondered.

I wondered if it really was too late for her dream. I never wanted it to be too late for mine.

And so I made a promise to myself that I would never cut my time short. Never put a limit on my dreams, give them a schedule or believe in their failure. I made a promise to keep on dreaming with my whole heart no matter what. At fifteen.

I see now what her look meant. How easy it is to throw dreams away, to cut them down, to scrap them because time and life and my to-do list and sense of responsibility just got too full.

And I see that in a sense I've been doing that. A little. Going against my promise in part. You see there's a little book I've been dreaming up and writing in my head. But excuses {and fear} have seen me stop when it comes to putting pen to paper... and truly beginning.

After writing my last post, this memory bubbled it's way to the surface. And it has set me on my proper path again. A path that's not limited by time. One that allows dreams to manifest. The path my heart chooses.

xx
 
~ You can read last week's post Can't help but dream here.

Do you let your dreams manifest? And do you believe in can ever be too late for your dreams? x