Ruby // sixteen weeks later

Our darling baby girl arrived in a whirlwind 16 weeks ago now. It felt as though the wait to this point in the pregnancy had been so very long; the last weeks drawn out with a mixture of exhaustion, stress, soreness and anticipation. 

On Ruby's day I spent the morning and then later in the afternoon with a new feeling, a shift within me - a knowing that our time was soon; and as though cradling me in support the universe saw that five friends sent messages of love and support in those 24 hours before labour began. 

The two days prior I spent in quiet anticipation - making time for reading, yoga, meditation; turning away from social media, walking solo and slowly, and finding myself in conversations that spoke of beauty, wonder, divine timing and support. I felt grateful and ridiculously tired. I thanked and praised my body for growing my baby and supporting us both. I slept a lot. 

That night I went to bed before our two girls. My exhaustion had reached a higher level and it felt like I had no choice but to stop, rest and sleep. In bed I placed a hand on my heart and one on my belly and I tried so hard to hold onto the feeling of my baby girl within me and send her my love. I meditated and drifted into sleep. 

A few hours later our journey to each other began. And after just three hours of intense labour she was safe in my arms. I birthed our baby girl surrounded by my husband and four amazing, strong, calm, confident and loving women. I felt supported and loved. For this, and to them, I am forever grateful. 

In those three hours of labour I heard "You've got this!" from four different people - said with confidence in me, my baby and my body. It became my mantra. And it's stayed with me these past four months. It's stirred a quiet confidence within me. A trust I've never felt before. A trust in the part of me that is home: heart & soul.

And so for the past four months I've lived in a little cocoon with our Ruby - doing what needs to be done, and little extra. I've thought about writing sooner, tried twice but then retreated back to the busyness of loving my three babes. It's a beautiful space, right here right now... and I haven't wanted to venture further til now. I didn't give myself this time or space or allow myself to feel this joy in the early days with the other two girls. And I'm oh so grateful I have this time round. Part of me wants to stay here, and another part of me is ready to emerge, calling me to write again. Slowly, slowly.   

xxxx 

~ A big thank you so so much too for the beautiful messages of congratulations, love and support I have received on the arrival of our baby girl when I shared the news on facebook and instagram, So very grateful. Elisa xx