Two whole months and a handful of days into this year and I couldn't keep up. That's after thriving my way through last year. The change in emotion and pace left me unsettled for a long while.
Change entered here in an abundance, add to that a decent dose of overwhelm, the perfectionist in me coming out to play, cue feelings of failure and then replay that overwhelm... and that pretty much summed up the first six months. Each month felt big, then the next month simply followed suit.
Among all this I wondered just how and when surrender {my guiding word this year} would surface and what it would teach me, because it was feeling far off.
Each month I seemed to relearn surrender, reset my rhythm, and reprioritise. I felt oh-so-tested. Continually tested.
And when I look back, I can see I let this feeling keep me away from this space. I'd come back and share, then tell myself that once I got on top of things I'd come back again. But I never really got on top of it.
I saw surrender as calm, a slower pace and quite frankly me at the top of my game, just like the previous year. I didn't see surrender as "giving up". But, it was only once I threw the towel in on my "big plans" and preconceived ideas on how surrender would pan out this year, that surrender arrived.
I found new ways of making space and time for breathing; I spent a lot of this year researching, studying and reading all I could on mindfulness; and I rekindled my meditation practices {finding myself meditating in five minute bursts, and amazed at what a few minutes of heart-centred awareness can create}.
And so this year I've accepted that I'm not as good at surrender as I first thought... I've accepted that it's more than okay to schedule slow {and all that will create slow within my day}... I found myself adding meditate, write and walk to the top of my to-do list. Before all the shoulds and musts. And it turns out prioritising surrender moments is not just about mindfulness and creating a gentle kinder rhythm, but about nurturing my soul. xx
How are you? Did you choose a guiding word this year? What did it teach you, and will you choose one for next year too?
~ I have a bundle of free mindfulness prints ready to send out, and a meditation mini-ebook coming out mid year. You can sign up for them here xx
what a lovely and interesting blog you have here. In answer to your question re my 365, I just take a photo a day and I put it on flickr to keep a record. It's really great to look at each year and remind myself of all the little moments I recorded
ReplyDeleteHello, Elisa. My word this year was "slow". I think I managed that for days and perhaps some weeks at a time but then found myself in the midst of too-much busy. Slow is harder than I thought it would be and slowing my own thoughts the greatest challenge I had. Meg:)
ReplyDeleteA beautiful reflective post my friend. I did not choose a guiding word for the year, the end of last year was a time of big change, and settling into those changes and the challenges I knew it would present was enough. And now reflecting back, it was totally the right decision.
ReplyDeleteAnd for the coming year, not sure how I will approach it. Maybe more with choosing words that I want to feel as opposed to a word to guide me. Not sure yet.
Wishing you a wonderful holiday season and all the best in 2017. xo
I write goals and then do about half of them. I was thinking for 2017 to not write any....maybe have a theme word? I'm not sure.
ReplyDeleteHi Elisa, I love that you could find time for 5 minute meditations. I have never been much into meditating but with a stressful person I am having to deal with at the moment, I think it might be useful for me to start. I chose the word 'Create', at the beginning of the year I found time to do some art, but over the last few months its been more of creating memories and special moments with my girls. I'm thinking a word like 'nurture' as my guiding word for next year. I hope you and your family have a lovely Christmas xxoo
ReplyDeleteMy word for the year was Bloom, and I did a little bit. The word kind of got lost in the last few months. Actually over the last few months my word could have been surrender. I'm being kind to myself, giving me things that I need. Like sleep! I don't think I have napped so much in the last 4 years to what I have in the last 3 weeks. :) x
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