I've realised {in the past couple months} that I find it easy to overlook myself in the day-to-day. And the problem with that - with not carving out minutes of your every day solely for you - is that soon those days become weeks, months and you look back and realise you've made loads of plans + let ideas swirl in your head... and that's where they've stayed. As floating ideas and hand-written plans. In a notepad.
I pretty much woke up to this realisation. Just woke up and thought, that's enough.
I realised I don't actually believe in myself as much as I think I do.
I realised that taking a chance on me is damn scary.
I realised that I've been waiting for permission to give more of my heart's writing + soul's stirrings a real go. {Permission from who, I'm not quite sure.}
I realised that now's the time. {Actually, now is always the time.}
I realised that I'm very good at talking myself out of taking a chance.
I realised that even the thought of vulnerability cripples me {used to cripple me}.
I realised that living my truth - writing it, sharing it, speaking it - is where I want to be {always}.
I realised I was giving myself the opposite advice I'd give to my beautiful girls.
I realised if I didn't call myself out on this one. Say "that's enough" and actually mean it, I'd be moving in these circles for many years to come.
And so, I scribbled words down on paper - words + feelings standing in my way. I came up with "taking a chance on me", "trust", "authenticity" + "vulnerability". And I've accepted they're all really good friends, and I no longer want them to be a roadblock in my way.
So I've been breathing my way forward.
This past month has been about pulling back, slowing down and breathing with intention. Focusing on what matters most. And that's meant little time for anything that's not mothering my three + nurturing my heart.
I'm embracing my ideas little by little, and navigating them into existence slowly but surely. And I'm starting before I feel ready. And those little steps I'm taking, it turns out they feel like bounds once you make a few.
xx
Have you taken a chance on yourself lately? Have you started a new project recently? Any lessons on vulnerability you'd like to share?
With big nourishing breaths + much much love, Elisa x
~~~~~~~~ >> FREE PRINTS + MINDFULNESS BUNDLE: Thank you to all the lovely people who have signed up early before my mindfulness bundle + breathe prints are ready! Thank you for taking a chance on me! I've added a couple simple meditations and the bundle is almost ready to send. You can check out what's included here. Elisa xx
~~~~~~~~ >> NEW INSTAGRAM: I've created a new instagram @ohhelloheart that's solely for my writing, mindfulness + meditation. Love you to come say hi! Elisa X
I can easily write a lengthy list of what I want more of. For some reason, more seems to strike a chord... and it makes me focus on what I don't have. But when I bring less into the equation, the opposite presents. I find myself dwelling on what I don't need, what I can discard, what I truly need to be happy {and it turns out that's not many things at all}.
In learning the art of balance and in a bid for clarity, I write my more or less list each year. It begins with a fair bit of thought, but eventually the words just roll onto the page, unfolding into a manifesto of sorts that resonates with my heart. Here it is.
Less screens, more books
Less sugar, more protein
Less procrastination, more meditation
Less talking, more listening
Less worry, more gratitude
Less criticism, more praise
Less fear, more love
Less rushing, more moments
Less doing, more just being
xx
Will you give the less and more list a go? Do you do a similar exercise, and has it helped you? Love to know your thoughts. Leave me a message or link below or even shoot me an email if you create your own list. I'd love to have a read. Elisa xx
~~~~~~~~ Love some free prints and affirmations to inspire your everyday? You can leave your email here! Can not wait to send this bundle of mindfulness prints + affirmations to you next month. Elisa xx ~~~~~~~~
One week into Feb, 38 days into the new year... And it only now feels like my year is beginning.
We've sent a little one off to prep, a confident and eager miss seven into grade two and my little miss Ruby {now 21 months} is at home navigating our world with me by her side.
I haven't set a pace so far this year. And that's been unsettling for me. I've wanted a rhythm. But instead strived for a heart-centred hum to our days. We've done beautifully in carving out memories and moments this summer. And when all sense of balance has been thrown out, we've paused, breathed, banded together and started again.
Our first few weeks of January were slow and long in the best way. I found myself nourishing and nurturing my three together, but carving out time with each of my girls alone too. There's something about giving all your attention to them individually that sets my heart alight, as though I'm seeing them with new eyes, giving all my love to just one for a few moments. It's really quite hard to explain.
But today it feels like only now my year is truly beginning, now that school is back, and I can schedule in some time for writing, some time for nurture, time to create and time to be alone. And it turns out that's what I've craved most so far this year. Time alone to write, to breathe, to just be. To reconnect with me.
And so, I've been dwelling on little rituals I can fold effortlessly into my day. Three rounds of salute to the sun in the morning. Ducking out the door for a short morning walk as the sun rises while the rest of the house sleeps. Stepping outside to look at the sky {looking up and giving thanks}. Writing down my blessings. Just writing, anything at all, but mostly for my heart. Reading a few pages of a new book before bed. Reminding myself to breathe, and then breathing and doing absolutely nothing else.
And it seems this is where my rituals begin, with a single breath and a heart-focused intention. So here's to the start of a new year, and gratitude with each breath.
xx
How was your January? Do you carve any mindful or nurturing rituals into your mornings/day? I'd love to know. Elisa xx
~ Sending out three digital prints via my newsletter next month! Finally, they are ready! Plus, some breath-centered mantras and affirmations for you. If you'd like me to send them your way, you can add your email here.
Two whole months and a handful of days into this year and I couldn't keep up. That's after thriving my way through last year. The change in emotion and pace left me unsettled for a long while.
Change entered here in an abundance, add to that a decent dose of overwhelm, the perfectionist in me coming out to play, cue feelings of failure and then replay that overwhelm... and that pretty much summed up the first six months. Each month felt big, then the next month simply followed suit.
Among all this I wondered just how and when surrender {my guiding word this year} would surface and what it would teach me, because it was feeling far off.
Each month I seemed to relearn surrender, reset my rhythm, and reprioritise. I felt oh-so-tested. Continually tested.
And when I look back, I can see I let this feeling keep me away from this space. I'd come back and share, then tell myself that once I got on top of things I'd come back again. But I never really got on top of it.
I saw surrender as calm, a slower pace and quite frankly me at the top of my game, just like the previous year. I didn't see surrender as "giving up". But, it was only once I threw the towel in on my "big plans" and preconceived ideas on how surrender would pan out this year, that surrender arrived.
I found new ways of making space and time for breathing; I spent a lot of this year researching, studying and reading all I could on mindfulness; and I rekindled my meditation practices {finding myself meditating in five minute bursts, and amazed at what a few minutes of heart-centred awareness can create}.
And so this year I've accepted that I'm not as good at surrender as I first thought... I've accepted that it's more than okay to schedule slow {and all that will create slow within my day}... I found myself adding meditate, write and walk to the top of my to-do list. Before all the shoulds and musts. And it turns out prioritising surrender moments is not just about mindfulness and creating a gentle kinder rhythm, but about nurturing my soul. xx
How are you? Did you choose a guiding word this year? What did it teach you, and will you choose one for next year too?
~ I have a bundle of free mindfulness prints ready to send out, and a meditation mini-ebook coming out mid year. You can sign up for them here xx
Towards the end of last year it felt like I was given no choice but to surrender. And still I resisted it.
I had big plans for 2015. Bigger than big plans - a return to study, new work commitments and a few personal projects up my sleeve too, and daily blog writing (ha!)
The universe, of course, had other ideas but did promptly offer me my asked-for serving of big - in the form of our darling Ruby. 2015 was BIG in the best way.
It pushed me to rediscover myself, but mostly reminded me who I am and who I am striving to be.
I got better at letting go of the big {end} picture, instead focusing on doing what I could with what I had.
I came to believe that would be enough. That my best is as much as I can do.
I discovered so much more about trust. And that my intuition is always spot on.
I learnt to ask. And how to let my heart answer.
I improved at listening. And finally accepted that it's hard for me not to talk.
I realised that people like to help. And I realised that I'm pretty good at helping and supporting myself.
I discovered that in doing less, I am able to give more. And in surrendering to this, I have felt more alive than I ever have.
Almost two weeks ago I caught myself holding my breath. As I exhaled, the word surrender rolled off my tongue.
I knew immediately it was my one word for this year. My reminder to go slowly, to be present, to be kinder to myself.
xx
Have you chosen one word to guide your year? Do you set intentions? I'd love to know. Elisa x
~ Sharing my one word with Bron at Maxabella Loves here.
~ I'm excited to be finally putting my meditation training to good use this year. I'll be creating and soon sending out {monthly is the plan!} some free mindful word/photography prints, plus affirmations and journalling/meditation practices and prompts to go with them. If that sounds like your thing, feel free to add your email address via the form here.
2015 has been BIG! So much learning, so much joy, so much love.
Ruby came into our world mid year, and wow - the joy {my one word for this year} she brought with her! She is the most chilled out, happy baby. I suppose being No.3 she had no choice but to slot into the rhythm we had already created. Her energy has filled us up on love and gratitude. Ruby has redefined our family, completed it and shown us what we knew to be true - that joy is infectious and that with a new little person in our family our love grows, heightens, expands, evolves in the most wondrous way.
This year has thrown a whole lot of change our way, and there's been much transition for all of us - hello new jobs, starting school and kinder for the girls, and of course adjusting to our family of four becoming five. There's been times when I've laughed because the alternative was crying {think everyone with gastro except the eight-week-old baby!} and I've struggled with accepting that I just can't do everything I want to right now. But ultimately we've survived change, and with a whole lot of calm - more than I knew I had in me. I've constantly reminded myself that I've got this and I can support myself and do it well - and those affirmations have made a world of difference to me.
I've twice declared {perhaps demanded} at the end of a year that the following year be slow and gentle, no big changes. Both times the universe has promptly served up bigger than big years. I'm not falling for that lovely little trap again...
But this past month has seen me declare quite a few times that "Today is cancelled"... meaning all plans I had for this day are now thrown out the window... it might sound dramatic, but the minute I've discarded those plans {the to-do list, and what I felt I should be getting done} I've noticed a shift within me - surrender, acceptance... and I've become kinder to myself. It's reminded me that I have time, and to savour this time despite the day not panning out how I'd hoped.
So on that note I'm not going to berate myself about the fact that I wanted to make wishes for the New Year before December 31st, that I wanted to cement my one word for next year, to meditate on my goals and dreams and to recreate my vision board... Instead I'm surrendering - perhaps my biggest lesson this year {one I'm still learning}, trusting that time will present, and choosing to savour now - including it's messiness and incomplete plans.
xx
Wishing you a wonder-filled end to 2015, and some time to slow, reflect and set your intentions for 2016! May your year be marvellous and happy!
Biggest thanks too for the comments and messages here and on instagram during my blog hiatus - I am so grateful for the support.
Oh and here's the SOMETHING NEW! >> While the loose plan for my next few days is some journalling and family time, I'm excited to get back to the blog and to this year send out some FREE mindfulness-inspired word/photography prints I am creating {each with individual affirmations, and instructions on how to best print them} - if that sounds like your thing, there's a sign-up on the sidebar, with the first print to be sent out before the end of January. Elisa xx
