Breathe. It's my word for the year. I think it's been calling me for years now. Nine actually. It's sat there humming in the background, drawing me in to learn a little, then letting me adventure elsewhere.
But now it seems breathe is in my every moment.
To me, breathe is about creating space. That's space within me. And space in my days for more of what matters most.
Breathe is a reminder to pause in stillness {to breathe and just be}.
And to be mindful {of my words, thoughts, actions}.
It's about creating space within {and for} myself {so I have more to give}.
It's pausing to give thanks {breathing in grace, breathing out gratitude}.
It's about letting go of fear, and replacing the gaps with love {so much love}.
A breath is just a moment, but {to me} a breath savoured feels like so much more than that.
xx
Breathe is a naturally extension of my last year's word, surrender, and it seems that's the way this word caper pans out for me. One leads into the other effortlessly, with stirrings of it mentioned here and there {in writing and conversation} until it's impossible to ignore or call a coincidence.
So, "breathe" will be my guide. A focus word to set the rhythm for my heart's year; to steer me as I live, learn, grow, thrive.
xx
Do you choose a guiding word each year? Do you set intentions? I'd love to know. Elisa x
~ I have a bundle of free mindfulness prints ready to send out at the end of the month, and a meditation mini-ebook coming out mid year. If this interests you, please do sign up for them here xx
2015 has been BIG! So much learning, so much joy, so much love.
Ruby came into our world mid year, and wow - the joy {my one word for this year} she brought with her! She is the most chilled out, happy baby. I suppose being No.3 she had no choice but to slot into the rhythm we had already created. Her energy has filled us up on love and gratitude. Ruby has redefined our family, completed it and shown us what we knew to be true - that joy is infectious and that with a new little person in our family our love grows, heightens, expands, evolves in the most wondrous way.
This year has thrown a whole lot of change our way, and there's been much transition for all of us - hello new jobs, starting school and kinder for the girls, and of course adjusting to our family of four becoming five. There's been times when I've laughed because the alternative was crying {think everyone with gastro except the eight-week-old baby!} and I've struggled with accepting that I just can't do everything I want to right now. But ultimately we've survived change, and with a whole lot of calm - more than I knew I had in me. I've constantly reminded myself that I've got this and I can support myself and do it well - and those affirmations have made a world of difference to me.
I've twice declared {perhaps demanded} at the end of a year that the following year be slow and gentle, no big changes. Both times the universe has promptly served up bigger than big years. I'm not falling for that lovely little trap again...
But this past month has seen me declare quite a few times that "Today is cancelled"... meaning all plans I had for this day are now thrown out the window... it might sound dramatic, but the minute I've discarded those plans {the to-do list, and what I felt I should be getting done} I've noticed a shift within me - surrender, acceptance... and I've become kinder to myself. It's reminded me that I have time, and to savour this time despite the day not panning out how I'd hoped.
So on that note I'm not going to berate myself about the fact that I wanted to make wishes for the New Year before December 31st, that I wanted to cement my one word for next year, to meditate on my goals and dreams and to recreate my vision board... Instead I'm surrendering - perhaps my biggest lesson this year {one I'm still learning}, trusting that time will present, and choosing to savour now - including it's messiness and incomplete plans.
xx
Wishing you a wonder-filled end to 2015, and some time to slow, reflect and set your intentions for 2016! May your year be marvellous and happy!
Biggest thanks too for the comments and messages here and on instagram during my blog hiatus - I am so grateful for the support.
Oh and here's the SOMETHING NEW! >> While the loose plan for my next few days is some journalling and family time, I'm excited to get back to the blog and to this year send out some FREE mindfulness-inspired word/photography prints I am creating {each with individual affirmations, and instructions on how to best print them} - if that sounds like your thing, there's a sign-up on the sidebar, with the first print to be sent out before the end of January. Elisa xx
Big breaths have been taken this past week.
Because I'm trying my very best to get in some full nurturing breaths and create some extra comfort for me and room in this fast growing belly for baby.
Because focusing on my breath reminds me to slow.
Because I can't seem to schedule a yoga class this pregnancy, despite plenty of trying. And breathing is my favourite part of yoga.
Because we let go of our little girl that little bit extra this week and watched her dance on into her prep classroom, eager as ever for school to begin. There were no tears from her, and no tears from me but the letting go certainly stung a little.
Big breaths too because seeing her off to school saw me consumed by anxiety at the very last minute. Because what if I hadn't given her enough, shown her enough, taught her enough, been there enough... so many what ifs filled my head one sleepless night. And then early in the morning sleep finally arrived, as I comforted myself in the thought that I probably wasn't alone in feeling this way and remembered I've loved her as much as my whole heart can love, and isn't love always enough?
More big breaths to come this next week as miss three sets off for kindergarten. And with both my babes busy learning and having fun for five hours one day a week I plan on carving out a little time each morning before I get stuck into work that involves breathing, and pretty much nothing else. A few minutes where it's just me, the sound of the waves, time to just be and time to connect with baby. Creating space to slow, to tune in, to love. Creating space and joy.
xx
Wishing you nurturing breaths this week, and the next. Has this week been filled with starting something new for you too? x
~ Love that my hubby captured this image of me and my big girl on her first school morning. We had plenty of smiling photos. And then when I thought he had stopped snapping, she turned to me with a big hug: "Today is soooo exciting Mummy."
I'm not sure about new year resolutions this time round... but I am confident on the power of intention.
This year we decided on making choices to create more family time, more fun, more memory making. We made a list of 25 things to do as a family, and we've ticked our way through it, and created more memories along the way.
So with that intention in mind, I decided to make this last day of 2013 the essence of the best of our year. With a healthy dose of gratitude, sunshine, reflection and nurture added in.
Tomorrow we will step into our day slowly. I will be gentle on myself, and honour where I'm at on this day. I will give thanks for new beginnings, lessons learnt and memories waiting to be created. I will savour the day's moments and embrace our time together.
xx
Do you do new year resolutions? And will you set an intention for the first day of the new year?
{I've chosen "one word" to focus on this year - and look forward to linking it up with Maxabella tomorrow x}
For nine months my baby girl has been sleeping half the night in her bassinet half the night in my bed {and I've been loving it}.
Curled up sleeping soundly next to me {rapt up in my warmth and my love}.
And I would lie face-to-face cuddled with her {listening to her soft sweet breath and running my fingers gently along her face while she slept}.
And I'd whisper I love yous and tell her how beautiful she is {how blessed I am to have her} each night before I drifted into sleep.
And in my head {and heart} I knew that the time would come when she would be too big to sleep in her bassinet {but I wasn't going to make it happen}.
Because I adored it {falling asleep rapt up in her baby warmth and to the sound of her breath}.
And I'd got used to our little bedtime charade {a little ritual and a whole lot of love}.
Last week as I cuddled up to my baby girl for sleep, she crawled all over the bed. All over me. Giggled and crawled. Not at all interested in sleep {or our precious routine}.
So I placed her in her bassinet, and kissed her goodnight {hoping she would find sleep there}.
Two seconds later I heard giggling, and spotted my cheeky smiling baby on her knees looking out at me over the bassinet.
I didn't want to let go {to admit our bedtime ritual was over}.
But I walked to the next room and placed her in her cot {part of me hoping she might cry out to come back to my bed}.
She smiled her precious smile, rolled over and went to sleep. Ready for her own bed. Done with our co-sleeping. Just like that.
And I'm wondering if this is how it will be forever. {Her growing up, me lingering behind}.
Loving her holding my hand, and then one day {when I'm least expecting it} she'll wriggle her hand away from mine. Just like that.
Loving cuddles before bedtime, and then one day {when I'm least expecting it} she just won't need it anymore. Just like that.
Loving her looking up at me, wanting me, asking me questions and then one day {when I'm least expecting it} I'll be standing next to her but she won't need me so close anymore. Just like that.
I wasn't ready to admit my baby's growing up {and it stung a little to let go}, but I'm guessing that's the way it will always be - a bit of a sting as I realise she doesn't need me so much, but a whole lot of love and pride too as I watch her grow.
And I hope she knows that as big as she grows, as much as she wants change and makes changes, as self-sufficient and independent as she becomes... I'll always be here loving her, and I'll hold her hand any day, at any time. Forever if she'll let me.
Elisa xx
I had big hopes for May, perhaps too big. I thought it would herald loads of changes, and to some extent it has. But I'll admit I was hoping for something extra magical, for a bolder-than-before kind of change...
Instead, I made changes. I stopped waiting for change. And {with Grace & Eve by my side} started living the dreams I'd been having of three of us sharing, loving and witnessing the world together.
And this month began a little sky obsession {photo documented on instagram}. I can't help but look to the sky each morning, and in the middle of the day and night-time too. Sometimes the three of us sit outside and stare at the clouds {and search for the day-time moon}.
But mainly I'm looking to the sky in the morning. I look up and wonder what the day will bring, and {due to a little miss I-love-to-rise-before-the-sun} I find myself stealing glances out a dark window in the early mornings waiting for {and wondering about} the time when the night-sky will dance with the new day.
I'm making June about journalling and setting goals. I've got so many ideas running around in this mind of mine, and so many hopes {and wishes too}. But what I need is clarity.
With two little girls keeping me busy, it feels like I've had no time to stop. And in a way, I think I've been biding my time... But {with my journal and pen by my side} I'm ready to set some goals, and I'll be keeping happiness and gratitude close to my heart as I do.
Elisa xx
{My favourites of the images I've taken in May - you can see the rest on the With Grace & Eve Facebook page or via instagram @withgraceandeve}
Are you a goal-setter? And do you journal?
Each morning when I rise before the sun does at my little girl's insistence, I look outside {with tired and hazy eyes} at the dark still-night sky wondering what the day will bring.
And once miss two is sitting snug and rugged up on her little couch with a requested buffet of yoghurt, toast, cereal and milk by her side {all of which she demolishes} I take another peek at the sky.
And I can see the day coming now, the air is not so thick anymore and I can make out the grass and outlines of trees. But I can't see the sky - it's still glowing a darkest shade of night blue {as though lingering in night-time dreams while waiting for the sun to wake}.
And I feel a little the same {my body is waking up and moving around while my mind stays mesmerised in a dream of sleep}.
And as I make my breakfast and listen out for a baby's cries, I keep glancing out the window and watching the sky {gentle and calm, waking at it's on pace at the rhythm of the universe}. And for a few moments I try to remember what that feels like {waking spontaneously, gently, when my body sees fit}...
And then I begin scribbling and adjusting a list of things to do for the day, all the while spooning mouthfuls of cereal and negotiating a little girl who wants to eat my breakfast too. I look outside at a sky that's getting brighter, but still waiting for the day.
And then I hear my baby wake with a stir and a little cry that says cuddle me, hold me tight, feed me, kiss me, love me now {and effortlessly with joy and gratitude that's what I do}.
And scooped up into my arms in a morning dance, I kiss her tiny cherub face, and listen for the little feet that will be close behind calling out for "my turn".
And then the three of us skip down the hallway {with a baby on my hip, and a two year old's hand holding my fingers tight} ready to begin our day.
And then I notice the air outside is clear, the sky is awake and the day is here.
And I wonder where those moments before the day woke went, and when the time will come that I will watch the sky wake itself up in full {not in fleeting moments and in stolen glances through the window}.
And I wonder when the time will come that all three of us will skip outside {and hold each other tight} to watch the night sky dance with the new day.
And I wonder when the time will come that I will wake up to a sky that is already dancing to a new day.
Elisa xx
Are you up before the sun? And do you ever watch the sunrise?
So I'm a little cloud obsessed of late. Sky obsessed actually.
It started a month or so ago. I was hanging out the washing and noticed the full moon staring back at me. Begging me to make a wish {or three}.
And since then I've been mesmerised by sun rays on gloomy days, the moon in the night sky, blue bursts of the day peering through cloudy masses, dark cloudy clumps and pretty white and blue scattered skies...
I've been looking up, looking ahead, making wishes and introducing this part of our amazing world to my girls.
And I've been lying barefoot on the grass outside, feeling the earth, noticing the sky and meandering through the space in between.
But yesterday, as I photographed the sky I recalled a dream from years ago. One of those little things that pop into your head when you least expect...
I remember the dream clearly because I had gone away for the weekend and was feeling lost, overwhelmed and searching for answers - and in this dream all those feelings were chasing me. I was running up a hill... my heart pounding, my face flushed and my hands grasping the air in front of me praying someone or something would pull me through.
When I reached the hill top, my view was blocked by clouds, white dust and fog. I looked behind me but I could no longer see where I'd come from. I could feel it though - a prickly fear and anxiety blowing through the air.
In my dream, the clouds were blurring my ability to see ahead but when I closed my eyes I saw a sense of opportunity, and lightness there. I tiptoed gently off the hill stepping onto a cloud. And there I was floating, the sky around me blue and bright, promising opportunity, offering hope, giving me a chance to start again. It was refreshing and I felt like I was floating in a dream of what could be for such a long long time...
And perhaps it was just one of those silly dreams? Or I have a really good imagination? Or could it be a sign that change was on it's way? Maybe all three. Read into it what you like. But either way, when I see fleeting blue peeking out beyond the clouds, I'm forever thinking of a new day, a new opportunity, that we're on the eve of something new. And it leaves me a little mesmerised, a little filled with hope, a little excited for what could be...
Elisa xx
{images by me - prettied up by Instagram. Follow me via @withgraceandeve}
Are you captivated by clouds? And do you like to photograph the sky?
