2015 has been BIG! So much learning, so much joy, so much love.
Ruby came into our world mid year, and wow - the joy {my one word for this year} she brought with her! She is the most chilled out, happy baby. I suppose being No.3 she had no choice but to slot into the rhythm we had already created. Her energy has filled us up on love and gratitude. Ruby has redefined our family, completed it and shown us what we knew to be true - that joy is infectious and that with a new little person in our family our love grows, heightens, expands, evolves in the most wondrous way.
This year has thrown a whole lot of change our way, and there's been much transition for all of us - hello new jobs, starting school and kinder for the girls, and of course adjusting to our family of four becoming five. There's been times when I've laughed because the alternative was crying {think everyone with gastro except the eight-week-old baby!} and I've struggled with accepting that I just can't do everything I want to right now. But ultimately we've survived change, and with a whole lot of calm - more than I knew I had in me. I've constantly reminded myself that I've got this and I can support myself and do it well - and those affirmations have made a world of difference to me.
I've twice declared {perhaps demanded} at the end of a year that the following year be slow and gentle, no big changes. Both times the universe has promptly served up bigger than big years. I'm not falling for that lovely little trap again...
But this past month has seen me declare quite a few times that "Today is cancelled"... meaning all plans I had for this day are now thrown out the window... it might sound dramatic, but the minute I've discarded those plans {the to-do list, and what I felt I should be getting done} I've noticed a shift within me - surrender, acceptance... and I've become kinder to myself. It's reminded me that I have time, and to savour this time despite the day not panning out how I'd hoped.
So on that note I'm not going to berate myself about the fact that I wanted to make wishes for the New Year before December 31st, that I wanted to cement my one word for next year, to meditate on my goals and dreams and to recreate my vision board... Instead I'm surrendering - perhaps my biggest lesson this year {one I'm still learning}, trusting that time will present, and choosing to savour now - including it's messiness and incomplete plans.
xx
Wishing you a wonder-filled end to 2015, and some time to slow, reflect and set your intentions for 2016! May your year be marvellous and happy!
Biggest thanks too for the comments and messages here and on instagram during my blog hiatus - I am so grateful for the support.
Oh and here's the SOMETHING NEW! >> While the loose plan for my next few days is some journalling and family time, I'm excited to get back to the blog and to this year send out some FREE mindfulness-inspired word/photography prints I am creating {each with individual affirmations, and instructions on how to best print them} - if that sounds like your thing, there's a sign-up on the sidebar, with the first print to be sent out before the end of January. Elisa xx
Big breaths have been taken this past week.
Because I'm trying my very best to get in some full nurturing breaths and create some extra comfort for me and room in this fast growing belly for baby.
Because focusing on my breath reminds me to slow.
Because I can't seem to schedule a yoga class this pregnancy, despite plenty of trying. And breathing is my favourite part of yoga.
Because we let go of our little girl that little bit extra this week and watched her dance on into her prep classroom, eager as ever for school to begin. There were no tears from her, and no tears from me but the letting go certainly stung a little.
Big breaths too because seeing her off to school saw me consumed by anxiety at the very last minute. Because what if I hadn't given her enough, shown her enough, taught her enough, been there enough... so many what ifs filled my head one sleepless night. And then early in the morning sleep finally arrived, as I comforted myself in the thought that I probably wasn't alone in feeling this way and remembered I've loved her as much as my whole heart can love, and isn't love always enough?
More big breaths to come this next week as miss three sets off for kindergarten. And with both my babes busy learning and having fun for five hours one day a week I plan on carving out a little time each morning before I get stuck into work that involves breathing, and pretty much nothing else. A few minutes where it's just me, the sound of the waves, time to just be and time to connect with baby. Creating space to slow, to tune in, to love. Creating space and joy.
xx
Wishing you nurturing breaths this week, and the next. Has this week been filled with starting something new for you too? x
~ Love that my hubby captured this image of me and my big girl on her first school morning. We had plenty of smiling photos. And then when I thought he had stopped snapping, she turned to me with a big hug: "Today is soooo exciting Mummy."
As I navigated my way through last year with honour as my guiding word, I was so very aware of all that was missing in my days. As well as the rituals, choices and activities I was consciously choosing that honoured my heart, body and mind, of course. But the missing things, they just really stood out.
Ever so slowly I started adding these back into my life. I wondered how they disappeared in the first place, and saw that it was so easy to bench the things that lifted me up in order to get the day-to-day done.
But, and this is the best part, when I added those missing things in (hello five minutes solo time sitting at the beach before heading to work; reading and getting immersed in fiction once again; more playing with my girls and scrapping our so-called agenda for a while and letting spontaneity take hold a little more often) I felt so much more alive.
I felt like I was honouring the true me. And doing this brought me more energy, more time for what I wanted to do and what needed to be done. It bought me closer to my heart. And I found more energy to give.
It's also lead me to this year's word: joy. In fact by late last year, I knew joy was the one. Because all those missing bits equated to adding little sprinklings of more joy back into my days.
So there it is - a wish, an intention, for joy to be my guide. And with a new little one to join our family mid this year, joy + love are so much in my heart and on my mind right now.
xx
~ Sharing my one word with Maxabella Loves here.
Have you chosen a guiding word this year? Any wishes, hopes or plans for 2015? xx
I've spent the past two months catching my breath (courtesy of a whirlwind of work, nausea, preparations for end of kinder / start of school for miss five, and exhaustion).
And searching for more breath. (When breathwork is at the core of your meditation practise, a family of four taking turns at gastro then two weeks of a lingering cough/cold certainly gets in the way).
And then finally making time to just breathe.
And this time around just breathing meant abandoning a few of things I wanted to be doing, mainly being here writing about new-found joy, excitement, anticipation and all the growth these past five months have entailed.
Instead I found myself sitting a lot, witnessing, reflecting. And watching my girls (now five and three) ever so closely. All of sudden they seem so big, so grown up. I want to bottle their energy as it is now, to savour and remember these moments. I've felt scared I'll forget the little things they say, their laughter as it is now, us as we are now. Each day they are growing, changing, learning, and it felt like I couldn't keep up.
A fortnight ago miss three and I sat in the grass. She picked daisies. I sat down to breathe, to stretch and soak up the sunshine, my camera by my side; and all the while admiring her abundance of energy - energy I was lacking.
After beheading more daisies then her little hands could hold, she decided to slow down, join my pace and copy my pose - that's her in the image above.
And it was then I felt myself taking a deeper breath and only then noticing the breath cycle I'd be living in, despite stopping to breathe being a focus in my days.
It was then I realised I don't need to keep up with my girls, I just need to show up. To be there in the moment with them as much as I can; to love them; to be a witness to (and encourage) their curiousity, creativity, kindness, wonder and love; to share my heart with them and to sit back and soak up our days and our rhythms (even the messy ones) with a big breath. And to know and accept that there will be times I'll wish I'd done things differently.
And as I step into week 21 of growing our newest baby girl - hopefully that explains my nausea, exhaustion and absence from the blog :) - I'm breathing easier than before; and making wishes for a new year with joy and love as our guides.
xx
How are you? Are you breathing freely? Any happy news to share? xx
I've been missing writing, and perplexed because perhaps for the first time in two and a half years I have felt unable to
write for here. For this space that's become an extension of my heart.
Despite my feet-on-the-ground and mindful intentions, my head went skyward - thinking, thinking, dreaming a little and unable to make a decision. Because, of course, the decision was not for my head at all, but for my heart. Funny that.
And when I checked in with my heart, it whispered find your joy. And that's where I've been. Finding my joy which
turns out is mostly just being, writing and creating from my heart (hello new prints, and an amazing new vision board), practicing yoga, talking and playing with my girls, time with family, reading fiction and neglecting my
facebook page.
And while the past two weeks my energy has returned, it does feel a lot like I had to step back a few paces in order
to move ahead.
xx
What's bringing you joy today?
Joy. It keeps coming at me. In conversation. In actions. As a guide in decisions of late. I've heard the advice to act with the question "What would love do?" in mind. I love that. But lately, it's been "Will this bring me joy? How can I offer joy? And is there a joyous way to do or think about what has to be done?" The more I ask these questions, the better I come to understand what joy is to me. And the more I seem to find joy. In the little things, and even in the mundane. Maybe joy has always been there, in almost everything I have set out to do - just I haven't always been looking with joyful eyes, and it's that I'm consciously choosing now to honour my heart's kind of joy. Maybe.
xx
Are you seeking joy? What brings joy to you?
Last year I got thinking about all the memories I wanted to create with our girls.
All the things we would do together when the timing was better, the things I could show them {and share with them} when they didn't need so many day sleeps, when we weren't selling a house, when when when...
I realised quickly I was pressing pause on life. And in that moment I was done thinking memories up. I wanted to make them. And so we began.
Long walks admiring nature, and gazing at the sky.
Stopping at the sea each chance we got, just to watch the waves {and listen to them too}.
Visiting new places, and exploring them. Together.
And the more we made our memories, the more of them I began dreaming to do.
And so this year {after a late-night conversation in the first week of January about what we really want most} we made a list, my husband and I. Twenty five things in 2013. {That's just where the number landed}.
They're simple, fun, some new, some ordinary. Special because we'll be doing them together.
And while I like the idea of spontaneity, of letting life's adventures come to us {in perfect timing}. I also know that life gets busy and in the busyness life can get scheduled in.
And sometimes those schedules get filled with all the need-to-dos and the should-dos, and sometimes what matters the most never gets scheduled in at all.
Parts of our last year turned out this way. And three months into this year and our weeks are bursting with need-to-dos and should-dos once again. But this time I'm seeing it differently.
For me, it's a reminder that regardless of what's happening, what needs to be done, what's coming up, we can make now our time. {If we choose}.
And we're already well on our way. To creating, loving, seeing, exploring, learning, being and making more memories together.
In a way, our little list is bringing us closer to what we want most this {every} year: fun, love, joy, laughter, time together. It's slowing us down. And it's become a reminder of what's most important. Of what we can create. Of how the simple things can bring so much joy.
Here's our twenty-five for our family of four.
xx
Splash in puddles
Swim at the beach
Watch the ocean's waves in winter
Have a picnic*
Read everyone's favourite books*
Go to a family festival/fun day*
Take a boat somewhere
Visit the zoo
Be a tourist in our own town *
Borrow books from the library*Ride on a steam train
Teach each other something *
See fireworks
Do an artwork as a family
Fly a kite
Have family photos taken
Witness sunrise
Watch the sunset
Look for shooting stars*
Watch the moon change shape over a month
Go to the movies
Go to a kids/mum yoga class
Take a photo a day for a month. Let miss three do the same. Then, get them printed.
Show our girls our wedding DVD *
Go to an adventure playground we've never been to before *
xx
{I should add that these memories are pretty much all simple things. Most of them are free or don't cost much money at all. However, cost wasn't a consideration when we created the list, it was simply a list of fun things and memories we wanted to make as a family. But I do love that it's the little things, the simple things that we crave, that we know will bring us all so much joy. Elisa x}
*These memories we've already shared. Quite a few of them more than once.
What memories do you love to create? Do you have a similar list? xx
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This week: Three busy days and two slow {incredibly relaxed} days {so far}. Changing routines {and pausing to breathe}. Talking loads {and listening just as much}. Learning {from each other}. Stopping to look {and see}. Giving thanks {each night, out loud}. Then, writing down all the joy I've seen {and felt}. Just so I don't forget...
* Little miss three and I painting our toe nails red. {"My toes are beautiful mummy. You look cute."}
*Making lunch, only to find my girls hiding behind their princess tent devouring a pack of corn chips. They were crunching and giggling together {and I got the feeling they knew they were being cheeky}. I watched them {while they weren't watching me} and I savoured the look in their eyes - how much they were loving this moment and each other.
*Flopping back onto the bed, closing my eyes and feeling the air-con breeze my way.
*Playing peek-a-boo with Miss one, and getting lost in her uncontrollable giggling.
*Miss three and I teaching Miss one to use her shape sorter, and hearing her proclaim, "Yayyyy!" {for the first time} when she worked it out.
*Dancing with my girls, then all three of us falling to the ground exhausted. Them flinging themselves on top of me. {Of course}.
*Our {normally exhausting} bedtime charade going smoothly {two nights in a row so far}.
*Reading a few pages of the book I've been wanting to pick up for a month now. Small steps. {How I miss books}.
*Getting three big things ticked off my to-do list {after agonising over them for months}.
*A walk alone after dinner when two little girls were fast asleep. Watching the sun go down {and light up the sky}. Bliss.
xx
{Grateful for so many joy-filled moments this week. ~ Linking with Maxabella & Kidspot's 52 Weeks of Grateful, and Rachel's Finding Joy.}
Maybe it's this summer weather that's giving me this light feeling right now.
Bright, {mostly} refreshed, welcoming each day, noticing moments {and allowing them to linger longer}, finding positives in every negative, opening my eyes {and seeing with my heart}.
I'm happy. And maybe summer {and it's bright sun-shining days} helps, but I do think it's more.
I think it's just that it's taken me this long {this year} to finally find me again, and the season just happens to be summer {my favourite}.
What I've noticed {learnt}, is that in the challenging {and trying, exhausting, uncertain and fearful} times, I always see hope. I believe in life and a better day {and creating a better me} no matter the circumstances {what life throws my way}.
And this feeling that I haven't been able to express in a single word. I've worked it out. It's joy.
My heart says joy is happy + gratitude {together}.
With joy, I see {and am grateful for} so much more.
And with joy, every experience/moment/capture means a little something more.
Joy {happy + gratitude} this week:
~ The colours in the night sky {and watching and waiting for them with miss three}.
~ The view from wherever I {we} stand. {Grateful we're together; no matter where we are}.
~ The gentleness of the little hand that holds mine {mindful of this ever since I read this post}
~ My wonderful man who walks through the door every night with energy for all three of us {when I know so much how exhausted he really is}.
~ Smiling into the sunshine, feeling it's warmth on my face {and letting it soak within}.
~ The clarity that comes from talking things through {and having someone there to listen}.
~ Books as gifts {to rekindle inspiration}.
~ Talking about my emotions, and teaching little miss three to identify hers in the process. {Did you know grumpy sounds like this? Gru-humph-blah}
~ Having the beach close by. {Sinking our toes into the wet sand, and waiting for the rush of the next wave}.
As I contemplated this eventful year this morning, I made joy my wish.
To seek joy {and find joy} in the little things, and the big. But mostly to let moments of joy linger and last, and teach me more about happiness {and love}.
xx
{Linking with gratitude to Maxabella & Kidspot's 52 Weeks of Grateful.}
{Oh, and my heart is inspired by every single post at Rachel's Finding Joy. It's here. xx}
Did your week include joy? What are you most grateful for?
