What makes your heart sing?

They say you should start at the beginning... So here goes...

{One month ago}

My little miss five months didn't want to sleep today. Typical. When all I could think of was curling up in bed and drifting off to sleep. Blissful sleep, sleep, sleep. Sleep.

I tried all the quick-fix, direct routes to sleep for my little baby bug but no, it didn't happen. She looked up at me with an expression that said, "No thank you mama. I'd rather giggle and squirm and kick and put the wrap over my sweet baby face and play peek-a-boo and STAY AWAKE." No amount of cradling, rubbing of the forehead, even boob-sucking, was going to do the trick...

So I did what 100 people have told me not to do. I put my beautiful babe into my bed and snuggled in beside her. She smiled her graceful, angelic smile. And I let go, forgot about the 100 things I wanted to do, and relaxed into a smile. She rolled her little body close to mine and put her tiny cherub hand gently on my face, as if to say: "Thank you, mum. This was all I wanted, to be closer to you, to be embraced by you, to look into your eyes, to smell you, to breathe you in." I followed her cue... looked deep into her big bronzed eyes, and got lost in her love and joy. I breathed her in and it felt blissful. I closed my eyes and smelled her delicate baby smell. Pure, sweet, delicious, happy.

Then I opened my eyes, and moved gently closer to kiss her soft cheek. That's when I noticed those big beautiful eyes were almost closed. Her eyelids done fighting sleep. My baby girl felt safe, snug, loved. And with a half-smile flashing one dimple, she drifted into dream land. And so did I, gently and gracefully.

I dreamt of my baby girl at 17, just finished secondary school and lying in my bed cuddling me - feeling safe, feeling loved. She said: "Mum, what do I do now? Where do I go from here? So many possibilities, and I don't know what to choose." Her big bronzed eyes searching into mine. I held her hand, and I breathed my baby-no-more in, and I said: "You choose what makes your heart sing, sweetheart. You do what you love."

And when I woke, my little baby still curled up to me asleep, it dawned on me that these were the questions I had been asking myself over and over for weeks now. And this was my answer. Time to choose what makes my heart sing. Time to do what I love.

So what makes my heart sing? Writing, sharing, love, meditating, laughter, sunshine - all of that with my little family. And more writing. At heart, I'm a writer. Always have been. And so, I cast aside a few fears (if I'm honest, I have a few more still to face), and I begin my blog. Sharing life as I know it... with grace & eve.

I'd love you to join me.

Elisa xx


Tell me, what makes your heart sing?