One of my biggest fears is that in the busyness of life I will find myself scheduling everything in {so nothing gets forgotten}.
It's my fear because when that happens I know everything I really desire will be left off the list {no room for spontaneity and suprise little magic moments}.
It's my fear because I'm pretty sure I did this for {the good part of} two years of my life {scheduling in work and more work, and the necessary and doing close to nothing that truly nourished me}.
There are three major stressful items going on in my life right now. Three. I wish there wasn't even one.
I daydream about life without just one of these three little {big} stressors. I think about how much lighter, brighter and sweeter things would be if just one could disappear.
I worry about my girls picking up on this stress. And I do my best to hide it from them, to shower them in minfulness, love, kindness and laughter. Hoping they will see the sunshine, and ignore the shadows.
But I do know this will pass, and for now I must sit tight, stay strong, focus on being the best version of me and doing what I can {little steps, slowly and gently}.
And I do know {believe} that I {and we} will come through {so much} stronger in the end.
Elisa xx
{When things are stressed, I think it can help to schedule life in, particularly some time-out to nourish myself. My best ways to de-stress are drinking peppermint tea, laughter, watching the ocean, meditation and yoga. Working on a little more of each of those right now...}
When life gets a little crazy, how do you de-stress?
Wishing you well during this stressful time, it is never easy. There are two, okay maybe three stressful things in our lives right now I hope will get worked out soon. I just keep hanging in and trying to enjoy each moment of each day.
ReplyDeleteDuring stressful times I make sure to get out for a hike and enjoy some quiet time in nature, a good soak in the tub always helps and a cup of tea, I need my tea.
Thank you so much Kim. I'm a tea person too - so soothing and nourishing. Hope things get smoother for you too x
DeleteHi Elisa. Yoga works best for me. When practicing, I find that my internal dialogue (which is usually running at a million miles an hour!) gets a little quieter and I can re-centre and re-focus. My yoga teacher refers to it as, 'Coming home to yourself.'
ReplyDeleteDon't be too concerned about your girls seeing you stressed. My own Mum went through a huge amount of stress whilst my sister and I were little (my Dad left her for his PA, and she was left to raise us by herself which meant going back to work full time, but that's a whole other story!), and she made a huge effort to entirely hide all of that stress from us. She was truly a rock - she just kept working, and cooking, and cleaning, and smiling, and nurturing us (rather than herself). All the time, without fail.
Mid-last year I went through a really bad period of anxiety that hit me out of the blue, including a series of incredibly debilitating panic attacks. I went and saw a counsellor and we delved into my childhood. Interestingly enough, the fact that my Mum worked so hard to shield us from all that stress she felt was linked to my own anxiety. With her as my role model, I too have grown up to keep those feelings of stress and anxiety bottled up and hidden away. And, last year, it got to a point where I simply couldn't cope anymore and I broke. The solution was being honest about how I was feeling, embracing that as a normal part of life, and reaching out to the people around me.
Of course, my Mum did what she did only out of love. But, in speaking to her, she too can see that it would have been a lot better for her and for us if she'd been more transparent, more true to how she was really feeling. After all, feeling and expressing stress is completely normal and healthy. It's how we deal with it that matters, and it sounds like you have a range of great coping mechanisms in place.
I guess my point is that we're all human. We all have days when everything goes to hell, and we feel like it's all too much. But I now know - post-counselling! - that the person who can freely express that, and openly nurture themself, and then find the strength to keep going is a whole lot healthier and happier than the person who simply denies how they're really feeling. I'm now working hard to be the former rather than the latter (most of the time!).
Your girls are so lucky to have you, and I love your posts, Elisa. Keep them coming! :)
Thank you for sharing your story and wisdom with me, Sally. How strong you are! I'm so touched to read this, and grateful too. Elisa x
DeleteLots of empathy your way.
ReplyDeleteI know all about stress - Mr. H was made redundant and his mum died in the same week. We got swindled by our best family friends and we had to survive huge amounts of stress that ensued including major times of questioning our love and Mr. H being depressed. Stressful times come and go - sometimes it can be useful to remind yourself of that.
It's great you understand to nourish yourself. What an awesome opportunity to just do your best and let your girls see how to manage stress really well. I think children do pick up on stress but often they are way more resilient and adaptable than we are.
Perhaps it is useful for them to learn how to look after themselves amidst stressful times.
Thinking of you during this time. xxx
Thank you Sarann. Beautiful advice. And thank you for helping me find such a positive in how I'm managing this. Grateful! x
DeleteAll of the above plus a nice warm bath, candles, aromatherapy oils, a gentle walk, gardening and lots of hugs. Hope things improve soon Elisa. xxoo
ReplyDeleteThanks Julie! I think a bath is in order! x
DeleteYes, important to stop & spend some time to look after yourself, thanks for the reminder!
ReplyDeleteWhen life gets stressful it always helps me to talk about it, whether it be to my hubby or to a friend I find that always helps. I also find taking a drive, exploring new places and being one with nature help me to find calm and peace. I do hope that things become more settled in your life soon. I understand your turmoil when thinking about your girls, just know that you are doing your best and sometimes it is ok to share your emotions good and bad. Take care. x
ReplyDeleteI hope things settle down for you in the not too distant future. It can be so hard when you're trying to hide your stress from the kids. Glad you're using your de-stressing tools.
ReplyDeleteExercise helps me de-stress, and some me time which I don't get too much of at the moment.
I put my shoes on and run - it may feel like I am running from troubles but I do feel a whole lot better when I return! I hope things are sorted soon for you.x
ReplyDeleteI understand this feeling very well. For me, when things are hectic I find the hardest part to be maintaining the energy in trying to still be "Mum" as normal, while dealing with whatever it is that I'm dealing with at the time.
ReplyDeleteI always make some time for myself each week to head out and exercise, even if it's just for one hour, once a week. It re-energises me and clears my head. I also try to remember (although it can be hard) that tough times will pass, that the world won't come crashing down if I let other things (like work, maintaining the house etc.) go for a little while for the sake of enjoying some special time with family, and I try to make some nice plans for all of us for when the tough times will end, so there is something to look forward to throughout it! Good luck.
And thanks for visiting my blog. You have a gorgeous one here!
I was just the same, something on every day and I didn't like it, not one bit!!! So I changed things up in our life and I now have one day a week I dedicate to "adventure day"! I don't make plans with anyone except my two little boys and we LOVE it!!!!
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