You ~ 14/52

It's been just the two of us for 15 hours a week for 10 weeks now.

My eyes on you, my heart taking all of you in. Your eyes brimming with excitement, your hand in mine.

And I've noticed...

You hold my hand tighter than usual when it's just the two of us.

When you show me that one-dimple smile, your eyes sparkle. I love it so very much.

You're even cheekier than your big sister. I never would have guessed my gentle baby would be. 

You have so many more words when it's just you and me. And you're not afraid to assert your intentions either. "I walk, no pram." Before the car is even parked...

You like your own company. Keen to explore for yourself. And create some distance between you and me.

You notice everything. So much so I find myself scrambling to make sure I'm noticing enough.

"Cup a tea?" you say as soon as we return home, picking up the teapot in your play kitchen.

And this past month, it's mummy you call me. I'm mama no more.

You're growing into a little girl, but still my baby. As you put it so sweetly to the mother and baby we met in the street, "Hi little baby! I big baby."

And I’m trying so hard to remember every part of you as you are at two and a half, trying so hard to remember these moments now forever. 

But mostly I find myself just focusing on the love, all that love. As you grow, I grow, and that love just keeps on surprising me and expanding even further too.

xx

{Reflections after I took this photo last week ~ a beautifully sand-messy morning with just the two of us by the sea x} 

Looking at you, when you're not looking at me

I had a relaxed Mother's Day. No running around like a crazy woman. Like a few of my recent days. And like most of my other Mother's Days. It was just what I wanted, exactly what I needed.

There was a big breakfast at home, a nap during the day, cuddles in the bed, tickling and laughter, giggles and baby babble, surprise roses and my husband's always-perfect roast for dinner.

It was my first Mother's Day with my littlest girl. And I spent a lot of today, just watching her - her smiles at her big sister, her 'dada' squeals at her father, her concentration as she willed her body to reach reach reach for her sister's toy blocks, her look of surprise as she rolled over when she reached that little too far.

I spent a lot of today just cherishing my two little girls from near and afar. And looking at them when they weren't looking at me.

I was a little in awe at their beauty, their love, their happiness, their soft skin, their giggles, their touch. And I kept thinking, "Wow, they're ours".

I tried to explain this to my husband, but he didn't need to talk or think about it, he just gets it.

Today looking at them when they weren't looking at me left me a little breathless. Breathless, and in awe, and in gratitude. Because these two little girls make my days {and sometimes break them too}, they've showed me a pure love {I didn't know existed}, and they challenge me to be a better me {every single day}.

Elisa xx