I had a post ready to go about balancing work and motherhood and my thoughts and feelings as I walked out the door to work...
And then this week happened and it's thrown me. I had the balance of mixing work (from home two days a week) plus study and mothering down pat when it was just one cherub to love and care for each day. But with two cherubs and one point five days a week of paid work I seem to be a little lost.
I've got to-do lists longer than I want to share. And this week I've combined adrenalin-racing spurts of rushed with mindful and still pockets of slow. And I feel like I'm doing a little of everything but not a lot of anything. I do feel like I'm doing these little things well, except maybe the housework...
And this balance curve ball has got me thinking. A lot.
About what I really want.
About what makes my heart sing.
About keeping myself in balance.
About living a life I love.
About what needs to be done. And what really doesn't.
About how I spend my time.
About disconnecting. To reconnect.
About what I can achieve now. And what I can trust there will be time to achieve later.
As I drove home tonight and reached our street I looked up at my favourite tree pausing to watch how its branches play out against the sky, and that's when I realised that sometimes balance needs to get mucked up and turned upside down and tossed about. Just so you can refind balance. Reconnect. Make changes. Start again.
xx
{Grateful for the clarity that came out of a lack of balance, and for work opportunities but mostly for the days I get to spend at home with my girls. Elisa x}
~ Linking with the gratitude community at the 52 Weeks of Grateful
Do you reassess balance? And what's making you most grateful this week? x
In six weeks I will have lived in six houses in eight years.
That's moving house five times.
Packing everything I own five times. {Unpacking five times}.
Getting settled five times. {Unsettling myself five times}.
I've moved 300km from home then 50km closer, then back to where my heart wanted to be, then back and forth close by.
I'm done. I thought I liked all the change. {Exciting and all that!} But I'm just exhausted.
I want to stay still. {To stop and look around without moving}.
I want to put down roots. {And plant memories in the one place}.
I want to make the house we live in our home.
Fill it with photos of the four of us. And images of clouds, and blue skies. And the ocean {yellow sand and white-tipped waves}. And images of the islands that make my heart sing.
I want to fill a house with love and dreams {and then bask in their colours and warmth}.
Six weeks til we move. Six weeks, and {the four of us together} we'll make this new house our home.
Elisa xx
Do you move house often? Do you want to? Are you happier staying still?
{image by me, prettied up via app befunky}
On Monday I felt amazing. Connected. Excited. {On the eve of something new}.
So I busied about with purpose, setting goals and making wishes {and embarking on projects new}.
By Wednesday, I was brimming with purpose, achievement and anticipation. {Finally ready to take the first steps on project change}.
By the night my head was hazy and throat sore {and my mind filled with dreams of sleep}.
Sleep arrived in one-hour bursts {slumber broken by a teething baby and crying toddler}.
Then morning came and the day felt like it should be night {the excitement of Monday a faded memory}.
On Friday I sat gazing at a journal filled with projects, hopes, goals and actions {questions and dreams}.
I wanted to feel the passion and desire to create, learn and share {to take a chance and dream something new} that I felt when all those ideas were put on paper days before.
But all I could think of was sleep {so sleep, rest and going slow is what I did}.
This weekend I've still been moving slowly, and trying to go gently too.
And I've reminded myself that time is on my side {not everything needs to be done right away}.
And with another day ending and a new week almost here I've realised I will conquer all those dreams and projects.
And I will arrive where I want to go {in time, and in the end}.
Elisa xx
Ever get excited about starting something new, then life halts you in your tracks?
