Dreaming and beginning

A few weeks ago, and then again last night, I found myself scrolling through job advertisements, pondering roles that looked amazing and that I ticked all the boxes for in terms of experience/skill... but roles I don't actually want and couldn't possibly do right now as a mum to my three girls. So why waste my times reading all those position descriptions? Because dreams. 

I've been dreaming vividly about various roles I could hold, books I could write, websites that could inspire, visions I could create. Dreaming and waiting. And wondering when the time to begin will begin... All the while finding myself so very much in the here and now, consumed with where we are at. Savouring these moments, but unable to stop the dreaming...

Then, in the past few weeks, these three things have happened. 

1. I text a friend the job roles I couldn't apply for but she could; and was reminded that where I am is pretty damn amazing. Mum to three beautiful girls; an abundance of love and beautifully messy days. 

2. While clearing old papers, I found a single scroll tied with pink ribbon. I knew what it was immediately. A wish. One of three wishes. I'd created them seven years and two houses ago, before becoming a mum and after reading a novel about a year of wish making. I opened the scroll and read: "I wish my three beautiful babies into existence." I don't think it's a coincidence that just one scroll and that particular one {my wish come true} was there waiting to be found. And I have no idea what has happened to the other two, or what I wished for.

3. A random memory popped into my thoughts this morning. Fifteen-year-old me hearing about dreams that stayed dreams; and being urged to try all that I wished for. I was sure I'd blogged about it, so looked it up and yes it's here. Turns out I've been back in that place, and almost two years to the date. 

So, this past fortnight I've given myself time to write, when the baby sleeps, at night before bed... whenever the smallest window of time appears. I've let ideas fly, words flow and my heart soar. And I realised there's never a perfect time to begin, there's just now. And so I began once more. 

xx

Do you have a dream? Or, like me, are you forever dreaming? And have you begun? Elisa x


~ A loving thank you to those who have added their email here for the free prints and meditation/mindfulness resources I'll be sending out this year! I'm working on them in between mothering my three beautiful girls and while it's taking much longer than I hoped and promised, I'm choosing to trust time and so excited to soon send you a bundle of love and mindfulness {prints, words and meditation/mindfulness resources} from my heart and inspired by my meditation training and home practices. Elisa xx

Living from here

This is your path. 
The path your heart chose.
Soar from where you stand.

Believe in who you are.

Bring love where it leads you.
Share what you know to be true.

xx

~ I have journalled every day for almost two months now. These words were my first entry in my current journal. Today I wrote on the last page, and was reminded how much stopping for a minute or two to say "hello heart" and write from my heart fills me; and how much I want to be always living from here. Elisa x

Do you journal? What practises fill your heart?

Solitude here. Again.

I keep coming back here. Three weeks in a row. Alone for 10 minutes, sometimes a little more before the pull of work sees me checking the time and moving on. I always leave feeling recharged.

This stretch of beach is small, and almost always deserted. And I think that's why I'm drawn here - to the solitude; all the while listening to my heart, and the sounds of the wind and sea. 

xx

Do you crave solitude too? 

~ This time alone by the sea {and capturing it in photos} began as a way of putting my guiding word for this year (honour) into practice. It's become a ritual and incredibly nourishing for me. The photos above (images 23, 24 and 25/52) are all taken at the same time of day over three weeks. Elisa x

Nurture and need

There's washing to be done. Clothes to fold and sort. Beds to be made. Emails to be sent. Words to be written. Groceries to be bought. And yet here we began our day. Because today the sky looked magical, and I was just so sure the sea would be much the same. And yes it was. The sea and sky met with the calmest of blues. And were greeted by full deep freeing breaths by me, and excited shouts of "I see the water" from miss two. Because sometimes nurture just has to come before what needs to be done. And sometimes it turns out that nurture is your most important need. 

xx

~ photo 20/52 in my by the sea series x {photos 18 & 19 yet to be posted!}

Disconnected ~ 12/52

On a Friday I work just a minute's walk from the beach. Last Friday in particular I knew my body and heart were calling for me to set a little time aside, to be by the water and just be, to write for me and focus on my highest priorities. But I decided on the responsible option of working for three hours and spending twenty minutes for me by the sea afterwards. 

The universe had other ideas. As I sat down to work, my laptop took forever to boot up. Then my mobile phone reception went dead - in a place where I always have full reception. Finally my laptop was up and running, but I couldn't connect to the wireless internet. A few more attempts, and 30 minutes later I was online and ready to write. Then I popped my USB into the laptop and the laptop found nothing. I tried again, and again. Nothing. I persisted with the work, doing as much as I could without access to the files I needed, and then finally I gave up.

And trusted that working perhaps wasn't what I was meant to be doing at that very moment. I packed up and walked to the beach. I lay down, closed my eyes and listened to the sounds of the birds and water. But after I while I could only hear the quiet rhythm of my breath. 

Later I checked my phone - full reception. Sometimes I think the universe has a way of forcing us in the direction we deep down know we're meant to be. I see now how much I needed that disconnection from technology on that day, to reconnect fully with the essence of me.

xx

Any messages from the universe headed your way lately?

{This image is part of my photo project "by the sea" series for this year ~ a place I come to stop and just be, and to honour me. More by the sea posts here.}  

The day-time moon {meant to be}

 

This week I left home on a surprise visit to hubby's work at the time little miss three and little miss 18 months would normally be going down for a nap. As we drove away from home I questioned what I was thinking, but kept driving anyway. The girls were happy, and didn’t look one bit sleepy when they normally would.

As I drove I looked out at the road before me, to the hills and the dark trees standing strong against a blue and stretched-cloud sky. And that’s when I saw it. The moon. Three quarter’s full, high in the sky and standing bright and proud, as though it was exactly where it was meant to be at this very moment.

I pointed out the moon to miss three: “But mummy, the moon is meant to be asleep! Silly moon. It forgot to go to sleep?”
“The moon must be staying up when it normally sleeps. Just like us, we’re normally asleep now. Today’s the moon’s doing something different. Mixing things up a bit...”
Miss three still thought the moon was "being a little silly".

She kept her eyes fixed on the moon. And it followed us for the whole thirty-minute drive away. As if to say, you’re right where you're meant to be at this very moment too. And offering a reminder that what I see, experience and take in is exactly what I’m meant to know and learn and notice... at any given time.

And it was kind of refreshing to throw routine out the window for the day. To see the look of love and surprise on hubby's face as his girls chased each other into his arms. 

And to spot the moon in the day-time sky felt a bit like seeing a rainbow. Full of wonder, amazement and perfect timing. And that feeling that you’re witnessing something special {life} for the first time.

xx

{Joining in with the community at 52 Weeks of Grateful. I'm grateful for the lessons ~ big and small ~ life has been throwing at me lately. Oh, and in case you're wondering, there's definitely no moon in that image! But it is one of my favourite sky images I've taken. Elisa xx}


What do you see when you look to the sky? What draws you in most – the moon, a rainbow, sunshine or clouds dotting a bright blue sky? And are you feeling grateful? xx