Monday 11 April 2016

Dreaming and beginning


A few weeks ago, and then again last night, I found myself scrolling through job advertisements, pondering roles that looked amazing and that I ticked all the boxes for in terms of experience/skill... but roles I don't actually want and couldn't possibly do right now as a mum to my three girls. So why waste my times reading all those position descriptions? Because dreams. 

I've been dreaming vividly about various roles I could hold, books I could write, websites that could inspire, visions I could create. Dreaming and waiting. And wondering when the time to begin will begin... All the while finding myself so very much in the here and now, consumed with where we are at. Savouring these moments, but unable to stop the dreaming...

Then, in the past few weeks, these three things have happened. 

1. I text a friend the job roles I couldn't apply for but she could; and was reminded that where I am is pretty damn amazing. Mum to three beautiful girls; an abundance of love and beautifully messy days. 

2. While clearing old papers, I found a single scroll tied with pink ribbon. I knew what it was immediately. A wish. One of three wishes. I'd created them seven years and two houses ago, before becoming a mum and after reading a novel about a year of wish making. I opened the scroll and read: "I wish my three beautiful babies into existence." I don't think it's a coincidence that just one scroll and that particular one {my wish come true} was there waiting to be found. And I have no idea what has happened to the other two, or what I wished for.

3. A random memory popped into my thoughts this morning. Fifteen-year-old me hearing about dreams that stayed dreams; and being urged to try all that I wished for. I was sure I'd blogged about it, so looked it up and yes it's here. Turns out I've been back in that place, and almost two years to the date. 

So, this past fortnight I've given myself time to write, when the baby sleeps, at night before bed... whenever the smallest window of time appears. I've let ideas fly, words flow and my heart soar. And I realised there's never a perfect time to begin, there's just now. And so I began once more. 

xx

Do you have a dream? Or, like me, are you forever dreaming? And have you begun? Elisa x


~ A loving thank you to those who have added their email here for the free prints and meditation/mindfulness resources I'll be sending out this year! I'm working on them in between mothering my three beautiful girls and while it's taking much longer than I hoped and promised, I'm choosing to trust time and so excited to soon send you a bundle of love and mindfulness {prints, words and meditation/mindfulness resources} from my heart and inspired by my meditation training and home practices. Elisa xx

7 comments:

  1. Hi Elisa, I saw an advertisement recently for a teaching job in a school where I would happily work, in an environment with children and staff I know I'd love. But...to pursue that I'd have to give up what I have now. So, perhaps it's a dream for another time in life or perhaps it will remain a dream forever. Either way, I like and am grateful for my reality; the life I am living right now.

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  2. So beautifully written- I think dreaming & living in the moment can co exist & you're right there is now to take moments towards those dreams when you can. It is a very busy life with 3 little ones x

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  3. This is beautiful Elisa. I think it is important to have dreams, even if we can't bring them to fruition in a way that seems right at the moment. I love that you had those signs come your way, and that they prompted you to take small steps, and move slowly towards your dream. Enjoy the journey.

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  4. I find the dreaming vs my now so hard. I want to stay in the moment with what I have but find it then makes it hard to move forward too. Xx love to you beautiful light

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  5. Love this Elisa, its so beautiful. I've missed reading your posts!! I am a big dreamer. I find it hard dreaming of a new, different life, e.g. me returning to work and no longer being a SAHM. It means the closing of a chapter, and my youngest being at school, which I am not ready for. I can't seem to find what it is I am looking for in a job, but I dream that its something creative and that gives me joy. xx

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  6. Very lovely reflection Elisa and beautiful how serendipity works to inspire you.

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  7. I'm definitely a constant dreamer!

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Thank you for your words and support. I'm so glad you stopped by xx