Light. I've been capturing it in photographs, tuning into my heart + light within, looking for the light in all situations of late and seeking a lighter load for this year ... Light resonates with how I want to feel, and what I want to share.
It kind of feels like I breathed my way here throughout 2017.
Light is also a reminder for me that out of heaviness, dark, mess and shade, light can be found. And felt. But also it's a promise to acknowledge the shadows, to work with them + love myself through them.
I processed loads of emotion in 2017 and shifted so many limiting beliefs. It felt messy and complicated like a burden at times and a lot like grief + heartache.
With breathe as my guiding word last year, I continually came back to my breath as the answer to most situations - when life felt rushed, in moments I wanted to remember, in stillness and in quiet.
I came back to my breath in the loud of life with three kids.
I took deeper yet lighter breaths while watching the sunset most nights.
I allowed myself to breathe with intention the minute I woke, during meditation, and before I journalled.
For solo minutes, I stopped to just to breathe.
And this practice created a lightness, space and room for the old to release and the new to grow. I feel so much lighter for it. And full of heart, hope + peace. I want to share a little more of this, my light and my heart this year. It feels like with light as my guide, that I've begun with a breath of fresh air.
Xx
Finally sharing my one guiding word for 2018! Three months in, but better late than never! Have you chosen a guiding word for this year? Have you blogged about it? I'd love to know/read about it. Elisa xx
A few weeks ago, and then again last night, I found myself scrolling through job advertisements, pondering roles that looked amazing and that I ticked all the boxes for in terms of experience/skill... but roles I don't actually want and couldn't possibly do right now as a mum to my three girls. So why waste my times reading all those position descriptions? Because dreams.
I've been dreaming vividly about various roles I could hold, books I could write, websites that could inspire, visions I could create. Dreaming and waiting. And wondering when the time to begin will begin... All the while finding myself so very much in the here and now, consumed with where we are at. Savouring these moments, but unable to stop the dreaming...
Then, in the past few weeks, these three things have happened.
1. I text a friend the job roles I couldn't apply for but she could; and was reminded that where I am is pretty damn amazing. Mum to three beautiful girls; an abundance of love and beautifully messy days.
2. While clearing old papers, I found a single scroll tied with pink ribbon. I knew what it was immediately. A wish. One of three wishes. I'd created them seven years and two houses ago, before becoming a mum and after reading a novel about a year of wish making. I opened the scroll and read: "I wish my three beautiful babies into existence." I don't think it's a coincidence that just one scroll and that particular one {my wish come true} was there waiting to be found. And I have no idea what has happened to the other two, or what I wished for.
3. A random memory popped into my thoughts this morning. Fifteen-year-old me hearing about dreams that stayed dreams; and being urged to try all that I wished for. I was sure I'd blogged about it, so looked it up and yes it's here. Turns out I've been back in that place, and almost two years to the date.
So, this past fortnight I've given myself time to write, when the baby sleeps, at night before bed... whenever the smallest window of time appears. I've let ideas fly, words flow and my heart soar. And I realised there's never a perfect time to begin, there's just now. And so I began once more.
xx
Do you have a dream? Or, like me, are you forever dreaming? And have you begun? Elisa x
~ A loving thank you to those who have added their email here for the free prints and meditation/mindfulness resources I'll be sending out this year! I'm working on them in between mothering my three beautiful girls and while it's taking much longer than I hoped and promised, I'm choosing to trust time and so excited to soon send you a bundle of love and mindfulness {prints, words and meditation/mindfulness resources} from my heart and inspired by my meditation training and home practices. Elisa xx
