I keep coming back to here

I keep coming back to here. Every day if I can. At least five times a week of late. 

The sea reminds me to breathe full breaths. It brings me back to my breath. To one single breath. 

It reminds me that each moment is precious. And to feel all of me in this very moment. Not to think of yesterday's moments or tomorrow's. This moment. And then the next.

When I stand here with the sea, I feel all the more alive. Because here I am mindfulness. Sometimes only for a handful of minutes. Sometimes I'm afforded a whole lot more. But presence, regardless of the time limit, is what makes the difference.

I'm sharing today a round up of images of the sea I've taken in recent weeks. 

Notice how each is so different? Notice how the colours of the sea change each day? As does it's rhythm. 

I've tried to capture the beauty of the sea in my photos, yet none are similar and different aspects have stood out to me each day. 

Each time I pause to observe the sea, I find myself acknowledging how it presents on this day, connecting with its rhythm and giving thanks for it. I never judge the sea. I find beauty in the sea despite its actions, despite its rhythm, despite its appearance. There's a lesson in there. And it's so very applicable to me. 

As I breathed in the sea air this morning, I gave thanks for the me that simply showed up today. I gave thanks with gentleness, kindness and a loving heart. Without judgement. And realised this space feels new to me. 

So here I stand, committing to loving me better. Unconditionally. Stepping into my own power. With big nourishing sea breaths as encouragement. And as a reminder that this moment, this breath, right now is always the perfect time to begin. Again. 

xx

Do you love the sea too? Is my lesson a lesson for you? 

What actions do you take to nurture your heart and soul? To love your whole self better?
I'd love to know. Elisa x

>>>>> See here for what's included in my free mindfulness bundle, which is quite a bit and is looking a bit more mini-ebook worthy than bundle right about now..! I can't wait to share it with you! It includes a bundle of mindful ways + words + activities to encourage you to easily connect with your heart + the power of your amazing life breath. And next month it will launch! I'm just putting the pretty touches on it now :) Elisa x

Interrupt busy with slow

This year started off with the most wondrous of intentions. Intentions to move slowly, be grace, live purposefully, breathe with intention. And I'm not saying I haven't done all those things. To a wonderful extent I have. 

But then along came the chaos. The busy. I'm dubbing it "the scheduled life". When there's so much to be done, and so many commitments that all the moments seem played out in routine. It kills spontaneity. And it turns a slow and mindful rhythm into a routine. And to that mishaps and mess + throw in a tonne of winter colds and coughs. 

I felt it approaching a month or so back. I felt despair. And a whole lot alone and helpless in getting all the things done while carving out the slow, heart-centred rhythm that I need. {I've come to understand that slow and heart-centred is quite simply how I thrive.} 

To some extent, busy cannot be stopped. Maybe, like me, you have three young children. Or maybe, like old me, you have a busy corporate job that works to strict deadlines. It's hard to stop the busy when you simply have so much necessary stuff to be done. 

I've researched this very topic on a personal level for the past 10 years. Rushing and the stress that tagged along with it was making me sick. I needed the antidote to busy and rushing. And I have a conclusion: We need to be okay with some busy. Life simply demands it. But we don't need to become "busy". Busy doesn't need to be our state of being: our sense of self from the minute we open our eyes from sleep to the minute they close again at night. 

So, what to do?

Interrupt busy with slow. That there is my solution. And it's working. For me.

It means slowing down, and taking a dose of mindfulness to heart. But it doesn't mean becoming a constant state of slow and mindful. We can still be mindful and not practise mindfulness every single moment of our waking day. 

I say, begin with a handful of minutes. Or add an extra handful of minutes to your already mindful routine. I'm honestly talking about just a few minutes. And this isn't about setting aside time to be mindful. It's about choosing slow + mindful when your amidst busy. It's about noticing that busy pace, and choosing to interrupt it. 

I fold these mindful rituals into the everyday effortlessly. Because as well as slow and mindful, simplicity {for me} is key. 

RESET YOUR RHYTHM + When I'm running around in the mess that can be mornings with kids, I choose to step away from the chaos, step outside with my cup of tea. I savour those sips, I look to the sky, I breathe. I move slowly. Just for a minute, before joining the mess again. Albeit calmer and more mindful. 

LOOK TO NATURE + When I've had a busy morning or afternoon, I pull the car over by the sea* on my drive home. I step outside {or we step outside, as I almost always have children in tow} to watch the water, taking note of the rhythm the sea is moving to today, breathing deeply and fully, taking in that sea air.  

STEP OUTSIDE + I often choose to eat my lunch outdoors, especially if the sun is shining. I notice the feel of the sun on my face, it's warmth. I pause before eating to just breathe, to give thanks for this moment, my food, the sun's shine. I notice the sky's colour, the patterns of the clouds. I tend to eat slower when I do this. Eat more mindfully. I'm present.

JUST BREATHE + And when I simply can't make make my slow minutes an escape, I just take a minute to tune into my breath. I notice its pace. I listen to the inhalation / the exhalation. I invite myself to breathe deeper and slower than before, and to release that breath fully. I invite myself to move slower. To walk/speak/react at a slower pace. Just for a minute. 

To counteract life's busy, interrupt it. With slow. For me, it works.

xx

Will you give it a go? What activities help you stay centred and mindful in the here and now? I'd love to know. Elisa x

*Of course, not everyone lives close to the sea! But the sky is just as wondrous! Look to the patterns playing out across the sky from home or work, notice how it changes, notice how it's changed an hour later, tune into the rhythms of the sky as you could the sea. Just as expansive, just as mesmerising, ever-changing with the rhythms of life - as are we.     


--------- >> Learn about what's in my free mindfulness activity bundle for embracing slow + mindful, and tuning into the power of your breath here.  

--------- >> I have a new instagram account: @ohhelloheart xx

Taking a chance + starting before you're ready

I've realised {in the past couple months} that I find it easy to overlook myself in the day-to-day. And the problem with that - with not carving out minutes of your every day solely for you - is that soon those days become weeks, months and you look back and realise you've made loads of plans + let ideas swirl in your head... and that's where they've stayed. As floating ideas and hand-written plans. In a notepad.

I pretty much woke up to this realisation. Just woke up and thought, that's enough. 

I realised I don't actually believe in myself as much as I think I do.
I realised that taking a chance on me is damn scary.
I realised that I've been waiting for permission to give more of my heart's writing + soul's stirrings a real go. {Permission from who, I'm not quite sure.}
I realised that now's the time. {Actually, now is always the time.}
I realised that I'm very good at talking myself out of taking a chance.
I realised that even the thought of vulnerability cripples me {used to cripple me}.
I realised that living my truth - writing it, sharing it, speaking it - is where I want to be {always}.
I realised I was giving myself the opposite advice I'd give to my beautiful girls.
I realised if I didn't call myself out on this one. Say "that's enough" and actually mean it, I'd be moving in these circles for many years to come. 

And so, I scribbled words down on paper - words + feelings standing in my way. I came up with "taking a chance on me", "trust", "authenticity" + "vulnerability". And I've accepted they're all really good friends, and I no longer want them to be a roadblock in my way.  

So I've been breathing my way forward. 

This past month has been about pulling back, slowing down and breathing with intention. Focusing on what matters most. And that's meant little time for anything that's not mothering my three + nurturing my heart. 

I'm embracing my ideas little by little, and navigating them into existence slowly but surely. And I'm starting before I feel ready. And those little steps I'm taking, it turns out they feel like bounds once you make a few.

xx

Have you taken a chance on yourself lately? Have you started a new project recently? Any lessons on vulnerability you'd like to share? 

With big nourishing breaths + much much love, Elisa x


~~~~~~~~ >> FREE PRINTS + MINDFULNESS BUNDLE: Thank you to all the lovely people who have signed up early before my mindfulness bundle + breathe prints are ready! Thank you for taking a chance on me! I've added a couple simple meditations and the bundle is almost ready to send. You can check out what's included here. Elisa xx

~~~~~~~~ >> NEW INSTAGRAM: I've created a new instagram @ohhelloheart that's solely for my writing, mindfulness + meditation. Love you to come say hi! Elisa X

Autumn reflections + seasonal reads

Oh Autumn! You've been intense. Refreshing so. 

You've taught me about bravery, vulnerability + authenticity. And that's seen me take a chance + embrace change. Ever so gently. Slowly. Slow enough to feel the letting go that change beckons, yet not be swept up + overwhelmed by it's current.

But mostly, this season has reminded me to carve out more time in nature to breathe and be. And in those breaths, I've been reminded why I create. Why I write. Why my heart needs it. Why writing is the key to my balance.

And so, this winter I will take time to delve within. In stillness and in heart. I will take moments of time afforded between mothering and make them mine. From here, I will write. And with my autumn-found courage, I will share. 

xx

As the season changes to winter here I'll be turning to these reads:
- The Way of The Happy Woman* by Sara Avant Stover {inspiration, yoga + gentleness for the season's rhythm}
- Only Love Today* by Rachel Macy Stafford {seasonal reminders + inspiration as I parent with heart}
- And I'll be most likely playing with this Love Notes card deck* by Kris Carr + Lori Portka all year {bringing awareness to my body, self + situations with love}. 

xx

How has this season been for you? Does your rhythm change as the seasons do? Any recommended reads?
I'd love to know. Elisa xx


*affiliate links. This means if you choose to purchase these recommendations, a tiny percentage of the price comes back to me.

Deciding on less and more

I can easily write a lengthy list of what I want more of. For some reason, more seems to strike a chord... and it makes me focus on what I don't have. But when I bring less into the equation, the opposite presents. I find myself dwelling on what I don't need, what I can discard, what I truly need to be happy {and it turns out that's not many things at all}. 

In learning the art of balance and in a bid for clarity, I write my more or less list each year. It begins with a fair bit of thought, but eventually the words just roll onto the page, unfolding into a manifesto of sorts that resonates with my heart. Here it is.

Less screens, more books
Less sugar, more protein
Less procrastination, more meditation
Less talking, more listening
Less worry, more gratitude
Less criticism, more praise
Less fear, more love
Less rushing, more moments
Less doing, more just being

xx

Will you give the less and more list a go? Do you do a similar exercise, and has it helped you? Love to know your thoughts. Leave me a message or link below or even shoot me an email if you create your own list. I'd love to have a read. Elisa xx 


~~~~~~~~ Love some free prints and affirmations to inspire your everyday? You can leave your email here! Can not wait to send this bundle of mindfulness prints + affirmations to you next month. Elisa xx ~~~~~~~~ 

A year of {learning} surrender

Two whole months and a handful of days into this year and I couldn't keep up. That's after thriving my way through last year. The change in emotion and pace left me unsettled for a long while.  

Change entered here in an abundance, add to that a decent dose of overwhelm, the perfectionist in me coming out to play, cue feelings of failure and then replay that overwhelm... and that pretty much summed up the first six months. Each month felt big, then the next month simply followed suit.

Among all this I wondered just how and when surrender {my guiding word this year} would surface and what it would teach me, because it was feeling far off. 

Each month I seemed to relearn surrender, reset my rhythm, and reprioritise. I felt oh-so-tested. Continually tested. 


And when I look back, I can see I let this feeling keep me away from this space. I'd come back and share, then tell myself that once I got on top of things I'd come back again. But I never really got on top of it. 

I saw surrender as calm, a slower pace and quite frankly me at the top of my game, just like the previous year. I didn't see surrender as "giving up". But, it was only once I threw the towel in on my "big plans" and preconceived ideas on how surrender would pan out this year, that surrender arrived. 

I found new ways of making space and time for breathing; I spent a lot of this year researching, studying and reading all I could on mindfulness; and I rekindled my meditation practices {finding myself meditating in five minute bursts, and amazed at what a few minutes of heart-centred awareness can create}.  

And so this year I've accepted that I'm not as good at surrender as I first thought... I've accepted that it's more than okay to schedule slow {and all that will create slow within my day}... I found myself adding meditate, write and walk to the top of my to-do list. Before all the shoulds and musts. And it turns out prioritising surrender moments is not just about mindfulness and creating a gentle kinder rhythm, but about nurturing my soul. xx

How are you? Did you choose a guiding word this year? What did it teach you, and will you choose one for next year too? 

~ I have a bundle of free mindfulness prints ready to send out, and a meditation mini-ebook coming out mid year. You can sign up for them here xx

Dreaming and beginning

A few weeks ago, and then again last night, I found myself scrolling through job advertisements, pondering roles that looked amazing and that I ticked all the boxes for in terms of experience/skill... but roles I don't actually want and couldn't possibly do right now as a mum to my three girls. So why waste my times reading all those position descriptions? Because dreams. 

I've been dreaming vividly about various roles I could hold, books I could write, websites that could inspire, visions I could create. Dreaming and waiting. And wondering when the time to begin will begin... All the while finding myself so very much in the here and now, consumed with where we are at. Savouring these moments, but unable to stop the dreaming...

Then, in the past few weeks, these three things have happened. 

1. I text a friend the job roles I couldn't apply for but she could; and was reminded that where I am is pretty damn amazing. Mum to three beautiful girls; an abundance of love and beautifully messy days. 

2. While clearing old papers, I found a single scroll tied with pink ribbon. I knew what it was immediately. A wish. One of three wishes. I'd created them seven years and two houses ago, before becoming a mum and after reading a novel about a year of wish making. I opened the scroll and read: "I wish my three beautiful babies into existence." I don't think it's a coincidence that just one scroll and that particular one {my wish come true} was there waiting to be found. And I have no idea what has happened to the other two, or what I wished for.

3. A random memory popped into my thoughts this morning. Fifteen-year-old me hearing about dreams that stayed dreams; and being urged to try all that I wished for. I was sure I'd blogged about it, so looked it up and yes it's here. Turns out I've been back in that place, and almost two years to the date. 

So, this past fortnight I've given myself time to write, when the baby sleeps, at night before bed... whenever the smallest window of time appears. I've let ideas fly, words flow and my heart soar. And I realised there's never a perfect time to begin, there's just now. And so I began once more. 

xx

Do you have a dream? Or, like me, are you forever dreaming? And have you begun? Elisa x


~ A loving thank you to those who have added their email here for the free prints and meditation/mindfulness resources I'll be sending out this year! I'm working on them in between mothering my three beautiful girls and while it's taking much longer than I hoped and promised, I'm choosing to trust time and so excited to soon send you a bundle of love and mindfulness {prints, words and meditation/mindfulness resources} from my heart and inspired by my meditation training and home practices. Elisa xx

One word // Surrender

Towards the end of last year it felt like I was given no choice but to surrender. And still I resisted it.

I had big plans for 2015. Bigger than big plans - a return to study, new work commitments and a few personal projects up my sleeve too, and daily blog writing (ha!) 

The universe, of course, had other ideas but did promptly offer me my asked-for serving of big - in the form of our darling Ruby. 2015 was BIG in the best way. 

It pushed me to rediscover myself, but mostly reminded me who I am and who I am striving to be.

I got better at letting go of the big {end} picture, instead focusing on doing what I could with what I had. 

I came to believe that would be enough. That my best is as much as I can do. 

I discovered so much more about trust. And that my intuition is always spot on. 

I learnt to ask. And how to let my heart answer.

I improved at listening. And finally accepted that it's hard for me not to talk.

I realised that people like to help. And I realised that I'm pretty good at helping and supporting myself.

I discovered that in doing less, I am able to give more. And in surrendering to this, I have felt more alive than I ever have.

Almost two weeks ago I caught myself holding my breath. As I exhaled, the word surrender rolled off my tongue. 

I knew immediately it was my one word for this year. My reminder to go slowly, to be present, to be kinder to myself. 

xx

Have you chosen one word to guide your year? Do you set intentions? I'd love to know. Elisa x

~ Sharing my one word with Bron at Maxabella Loves here.

~ I'm excited to be finally putting my meditation training to good use this year. I'll be creating and soon sending out {monthly is the plan!} some free mindful word/photography prints, plus affirmations and journalling/meditation practices and prompts to go with them. If that sounds like your thing, feel free to add your email address via the form here. 

Big // Joy // & something new

2015 has been BIG! So much learning, so much joy, so much love.

Ruby came into our world mid year, and wow - the joy {my one word for this year} she brought with her! She is the most chilled out, happy baby. I suppose being No.3 she had no choice but to slot into the rhythm we had already created. Her energy has filled us up on love and gratitude. Ruby has redefined our family, completed it and shown us what we knew to be true - that joy is infectious and that with a new little person in our family our love grows, heightens, expands, evolves in the most wondrous way.

This year has thrown a whole lot of change our way, and there's been much transition for all of us - hello new jobs, starting school and kinder for the girls, and of course adjusting to our family of four becoming five. There's been times when I've laughed because the alternative was crying {think everyone with gastro except the eight-week-old baby!} and I've struggled with accepting that I just can't do everything I want to right now. But ultimately we've survived change, and with a whole lot of calm - more than I knew I had in me. I've constantly reminded myself that I've got this and I can support myself and do it well - and those affirmations have made a world of difference to me.

I've twice declared {perhaps demanded} at the end of a year that the following year be slow and gentle, no big changes. Both times the universe has promptly served up bigger than big years. I'm not falling for that lovely little trap again... 

But this past month has seen me declare quite a few times that "Today is cancelled"... meaning all plans I had for this day are now thrown out the window... it might sound dramatic, but the minute I've discarded those plans {the to-do list, and what I felt I should be getting done} I've noticed a shift within me - surrender, acceptance... and I've become kinder to myself. It's reminded me that I have time, and to savour this time despite the day not panning out how I'd hoped. 

So on that note I'm not going to berate myself about the fact that I wanted to make wishes for the New Year before December 31st, that I wanted to cement my one word for next year, to meditate on my goals and dreams and to recreate my vision board... Instead I'm surrendering - perhaps my biggest lesson this year {one I'm still learning}, trusting that time will present, and choosing to savour now - including it's messiness and incomplete plans.

xx

Wishing you a wonder-filled end to 2015, and some time to slow, reflect and set your intentions for 2016! May your year be marvellous and happy!

Biggest thanks too for the comments and messages here and on instagram during my blog hiatus - I am so grateful for the support. 

Oh and here's the SOMETHING NEW! >> While the loose plan for my next few days is some journalling and family time, I'm excited to get back to the blog and to this year send out some FREE mindfulness-inspired word/photography prints I am creating {each with individual affirmations, and instructions on how to best print them} - if that sounds like your thing, there's a sign-up on the sidebar, with the first print to be sent out before the end of January. Elisa xx  

Eight years to calm

Almost eight years ago I was told that part of my destiny was to learn calm. To be calm. Might not sound like such a feat but at the time I had just emerged from severe exhaustion and ever-slowly out of what felt like an all-consuming frantic auto-immune disease and back into health. I was still recovering, and learning so much about my body and what worked and didn't work for me. 

I knew the opposite of calm had got me to that state. I knew I was learning calm. Very slowly. I was better at creating calm. But to be calm? That seemed impossible to me. And being told my destiny involved this invoked tears. Because what was calm anyway? And how? Staying healthy seemed so hard. Tell me how to be calm, I begged. 

Just the thought of having to somehow find calm as a natural state made me much less than calm. But of course, that was the whole point. Calm can't be controlled or manipulated. Calm just is. It can be invited though. And created, and embraced. And the instant this dawned on me, I surrendered - and all at once gave up on pushing myself to be the me I needed to be to remain healthy. 

Instead I focused on what felt happy to me, instead of doing and moving all the time I stayed still and breathed (and it was hard at first), I pulled away from anything that might equal busy which meant learning to say no (and that was especially hard for me). I read a lot, I spoke to a lot of people, I researched, I tried new ways of being/eating/moving and learnt so so much. And most definitely the eight years to this point right now (insert three babies, three house moves and various job changes) have seen me fine-tune my calm-for-me skills. 

Yesterday I cancelled plans (because rushing doesn't agree with me), a fortnight ago I booked into yoga classes again for this term (because I know my body, heart and mind will thrive in that one hour) and last week after setting up various creative pursuits for the kids I decided it was what I needed too and spent an hour drawing and painting. For the past three months I've been reading books and more books (on to my fifth) and for the past five days I have turned my meditating-whenever-I get-a-free-chance-habit into a nightly rhythm for as long as my mind, heart and body choose (sometimes five minutes, sometimes twenty). 

And today while I walked in the sunshine I wondered how my energy could feel so good when I'm on broken nightly sleep thanks to my beautiful teething almost-five month old baby. My answer to myself is this sense of nurture and self that's come from my investment in calm pursuits. Suddenly all the little things I've taught myself over eight years have come together. And I'm sure it's not one of them, but all of them. And I suddenly realised I'm doing more than okay. And I think I'm coming close to working out this calm caper. Well, for me anyway.

xx

How do you do calm? And any book recommendations?
  

I'm listening

I wrote about the day I learnt to breathe a little more than a month ago now. And that night I journalled. And that night I asked my heart what makes it sing. And that night and for the forty-two days that have followed I've been reminded to just breathe. 

The words could have been so easy to ignore, but I've been listening. I abandoned the blog {not quite expecting to be away this long!}, and reworked my to-do list to include the essentials only. In doing so, I created time. Time filled with little things {and my little people}, moments that have made my heart soar, big breaths, long exhalations and a stronger, clearer idea of where I want to go from here.

It's reminded me that the advice and wisdom we share (hello learning to breathe fully, trusting where you're at, and finding something that nourishes your mind and heart) is most certainly the advice we need.

xx

What have you learnt this past month? What are you most grateful for? I hope your days have been happy and you've remembered to breathe xx


{Oh and my little escape has seen me forget about my first giveaway!! Winners of this "just breathe" print are Julie @ Off to the Park and Amanda @ Homely One. Please email me your postal address withgraceandeve@gmail.com and I will send your print xx}

The day I learnt to breathe

Learning to breath again. It sounds ridiculous I know, because we arrive here in a breath. And this breath of ours keeps us alive. But somehow, someway, and at some point I stopped breathing fully. Instead I engaged in a lively, rushed, frantic, stressed (but I wouldn't have admitted that to you at the time) out-of-control, desperately-seeking-control manner that became everyday life. And although I loved so many aspects of this life, it was messy. The stress part was messy, the rushing that kept me in a move-on-to-the-next-thing-without-taking-a-breath pattern was messiest. And that rushing meant I never really slowed enough to just be and connect with the inner me, never stopped to just breathe. So so far from the me I am today. Yet I remember so well how she felt. It hurts to feel like she did, but in a numb kind of way. 

And it feels like one day abruptly it all ended. But it wasn't really one day, not at all. It was a mammoth crescendo that started with my body falling apart (in so many ways: back aches and spasms, a breast tumour then an auto-immune disease to be more precise) and the end (which was kind of the start of change) was an 80km/hr head-on car crash. That's the part I want to talk about, because that's when I learnt to breathe again. 

It was eight years ago now. I was the passenger, my husband was driving. A car pulled out from the t-intersection four metres in front of us. He hit the brakes but there was no time to stop. I was looking at him on impact and if I hadn't been the doctors said my injuries would be a lot worse. I normally always cross my legs in the car too, and I remember noticing how straight I was sitting and upright minutes before the crash - I remember thinking how good my body felt sitting so still and straight and wondering why I didn't always sit like this. Later the doctors asked if I was sitting perfectly straight, because to not break bones was almost impossible.

My injuries were minimal soft-tissue ones, scratches and cuts - the airbag saved me yet did most of the damage. My face swelled an extra half its size and was covered in cuts, blood and bruising - as was my chest. I just remember noticing all the blood, pouring out my nose, tasting it in my mouth and knowing I needed an ambulance. It was me who called the ambulance, moments later interrupted by a man asking what I was doing, then promptly telling me to rest because he could make the call. I thought he was awfully rude, I was in control and could surely make the call myself! And the minute that thought entered my head I realised there was no control to be had here, and surrender was necessary. All at once I let go, all at once I felt my body relax in trust - that I would be cared for, that someone else had the situation and that would be okay. There was no rushing to be done, just waiting and breathing. Breathing was really all I could do. And breathing was all I needed to do.

As we arrived at the hospital I found myself alone lying on a trolley in a neck brace and panic set in. My breathing got shaky and became too fast. I tried to look around for someone, for help, but the white ceiling was all I got. 

Then a hand on mine. Just breathe, she said. It's all you have to do. You can help your body and mind with your breath too - you can manipulate your breath. Breathe deeper, all the way in. And slowly release. Just breathe. Slow your breath down, so all of you slows down....

She was an ambulance officer and I so wish I could remember her name. In those moments of reminding me to breathe, she changed everything for me. I wanted to get to know my breath. I wanted to just breathe. And just be. Breathwork became a part of my everyday. It still is. It's a big part of the meditation I practice and it reminds me always of the beauty, wonder and healing that can happen in a solo breath.

xx

Do you remind yourself to "just breathe" each day?

>> Want to be the first to receive my free mindfulness prints and the "breathe" meditation eBook I'm currently writing? I can't wait to send them your way. You can sign up for them here. <<   

Faith

"What are you doing?" she screeched.
"Umm... parking the car? What does it look like?" came my sarcastic reply."Here?"
"Yes here."
"No. Stop. Why?"
"What? Because it's an angle park and we're a one minute walk from the venue..."
"No. There could be another park so much closer. There will be another park. Keep on driving!"
"But I can see one right here. And what if there's not?""Have a little faith."
"What's faith got to do with it? This park is free and right here.""Blind faith. I know you have it in you. Drive."
"Okay, okay. Fine..."

I drove further on, thinking how ridiculous this exercise was. And then I saw it, a free spot right out the front. Waiting for me? I drove in without saying a word. We got out of the car and exchanged glances. Mine was a "well, whadda you know?" Hers said, "That there is what happens when you have faith."

--

You know when sometimes you remember memories from long ago and you wonder how that something that happened 11 years ago could pop into your head just like that... well this was one of those, from my uni days, except maybe it wasn't random or a coincidence either. Because when I remembered I most definitely was in need of a little courage, confidence and trust - blind faith.

xx

Do you think we suddenly remember random memories from the past for a reason? I'd like to think so. Elisa xx

Head & heart

I've been missing writing, and perplexed because perhaps for the first time in two and a half years I have felt unable to
write for here. For this space that's become an extension of my heart.

Despite my feet-on-the-ground and mindful intentions, my head went skyward - thinking, thinking, dreaming a little and unable to make a decision. Because, of course, the decision was not for my head at all, but for my heart. Funny that.

And when I checked in with my heart, it whispered find your joy. And that's where I've been. Finding my joy which
turns out is mostly just being, writing and creating from my heart (hello new prints, and an amazing new vision board), practicing yoga, talking and playing with my girls, time with family, reading fiction and neglecting my
facebook page.

And while the past two weeks my energy has returned, it does feel a lot like I had to step back a few paces in order
to move ahead.

xx 

What's bringing you joy today? 

In sickness & health

We've spent a week sick. And now that we're better, we're enjoying the sweet feeling of health returned and more energy yet still spending much of our days resting, moving gently. Because it seems that's what our bodies are wanting of us right now, and perhaps that's what winter is calling us to do too. 

And while getting sick always upsets me, because I do oh so much to keep my family healthy, I've learnt a couple things this time around. And first is to redefine my thoughts on sick. Because colds and high temps, as much as it's horrible to see your babies unwell and exhausting to care for them when you're feeling much the same - well that's one level of sick that our healthy bodies can fight and handle. And that our bodies bounce back from rather well. So yes we've been sick, but in being so our bodies have shown us how strong and capable they are too. Because we are healthy. 

And while I normally avoid catching what my girls get, this time around I'm pretty confident I had to get sick to realign myself with where I need to be. And turns out where I need to be is where I already am. Right here, just being, not doing more and not doing less, but shuffling things around so there's more time for what matters most. 

I've also been reminded that I have time. I have time. Just saying those words aloud reminds me to slow. To give thanks for now. I made a couple big decisions this past month, and it turns out now I've changed my mind on those. And that's okay. Because slowing to take less on but take in more of right now, it just seems right for me. And us. 

xx

Are you called to slow down this season too? x

To soar

I walk outside to check the weather, and there are birds staring at me from the grass.

I look to the sky and a solo bird flies into the frame and sits directly in my view.

I step outside sleepily to watch the sun rise and birds are already perched on the fence and power lines singing their tunes.

And every time I see them I keep waiting for them to soar. You know the moment? When they move from still to up, up and away.  With purpose, with direction, with momentum, rhythm... with power and energy but with grace.

I keep waiting. And they keep on staying still. Fly, I think. Fly! Show me how you can soar.

Eventually I walk away. 

And eventually I come to the realisation that we don't need bold, dramatic or "something to talk about" action to soar. That we can soar immersed in stillness and in presence, in peace of mind and in heart. And sometimes without a word spoken, or written. Without a movement outward, but with expansiveness within.

xx 

{Soaring - how I soar, what I need to soar, to stay present, and to be the best me - has been on my mind this week, as has gratitude and the joy and presence that can come from creating a ritual that both honours and nourishes us. A lot to think about, and a lot I want to write and something I need to share... for another post soon! This week I feel most grateful for time - time alone and time together, and time to just be. Elisa x}

What are you most grateful for today? And what makes you soar?
   

Hello fear

And here we go again... right when I thought I had faced so much fear head-on already this year, and surfaced relatively unscathed, stronger for sure, with new learnings, new insight, a lighter mind and brighter outlook... there it was again. 

Fear. Consuming me with what could be. Not what was. Not what is. But what could be. Which most certainly would never be. But...

I've decided in a moment of fear it feels there's no easy way to short-circuit that fear cycle, but there always is.... and it certainly becomes easier as preconceived ideas are broken down and coping strategies learnt in the process.

This time I tackled fear with these thoughts: Just breathe. Take one step at a time. Be in the now.

And the thing is, there's no fear in my right now. Not one bit. And fearing what could be... well, when I put it like that, it does seems kind of futile.

So here's to making plans but not forcing time, to living moments as they present, to remembering to breathe when unsettling emotions strike, and to knowing that dealing with them will only make you stronger.

xx

How do you deal with fear? Has fear {or facing fears} been on your mind?

Lessons, and letting go ~ 9/52

We picked daisies and I thought about joy. I watched miss two closely. Just the act of being able to pull a daisy out of the ground saw her face light up in the biggest smile.

The flowers came with us to pick-up miss four from pre-school, and it was only then I decided that it was a fitting week to let them go by the sea.

Letting go had been my lesson this past week. I think I relearned it three times. And I think it's one I'll relearn again at a later stage too. Each time a different situation, each time a different emotion - from overwhelm to grief to relief at the letting go.

Miss four lined up the flowers for me. I took the photos, unsure whether I should focus on what was in front of me {the daisies but also this very moment, and my emotions} or focus ahead on what will pass and what could be {out to the sea, how much better I hoped I'd feel by the week's end, happier times}.

As we got ready to throw the daisies out to sea, a gust of wind took all but one. And it took me by surprise but at the same time seemed a little fitting that the letting go happened all on it's own, before we were ready.

I let the last daisy fall gently to the water and sat to watch it float away. And miss four took control of the camera, pointing out to me that there was so much more than my drifting flower to see.

xx

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Because now is good enough a time

I read this quote the other day...

 

"It's a terrible thing, I think, in life to wait until you're ready. I have this feeling that actually no one is ever ready to do anything. There is almost no such thing as ready. There is only now. And you may as well do it now. Generally speaking, now is as good a time as any." ~ Hugh Laurie

And it resonated with me or perhaps dawned on me. Whatever it did I actually stopped what I was doing. Walked away. I stopped to just be. To journal. And let clarity arrive.

 

Here's what I realised.

1. I've put two big dreams (they're actually connected - can't have one without the other) on hold for the past year. Because, in my defence, other opportunities crept up. But also because... maybe I'm not ready, or maybe it's just not the right time, or what if I do all that work and then it's just not good enough, what if nobody likes what I've created ... you get the picture.

 

2. Worse than being on hold I haven't even started. Haven't even taken the first step. I've just let my dream sit up in my head in dreamland and swirl around with no destination, no timeline, no real agenda. No starting point.

 

3. I write more than 5000 words each month for publications. Other people's publications. Yes that's my job as a freelance writer, yes that's what I love doing, and yes that's my career... But I don't give my own writing the same time of day and space or credit. Yes those other words are paid work, yes I enjoy writing them, but the other writing - well if I'm honest that's where my heart lies... and that just has to deserve a little more attention.  Somewhere in my week. Somehow...

 

And so instead of wondering, instead of trying to create a plan, action list or timeline.. I just started. Just like that. No holding back. I just opened a new journal and I wrote. And then wrote some more... 

 

The words came easily, the ideas kept bouncing and I felt free. Finally, I was doing it. No matter about an ending point, no matter about being good enough. Just letting my heart take the lead.

 

Because there's no perfect time and now is good enough a time.

 

It feels wonderful to simply begin.

 

xx

Anything you've been putting on hold? Any new dreams or plans you've recently begun? x

One word: Honour

I stewed over my guiding word for 2014. At first I thought it would be intention. But out of nowhere, and then appearing seemingly everywhere, came the word honour.

And then I realised to honour {my heart, my body, my emotions, my creativity, my soul} was my intention.

I want a year that's filled with more slow, more savouring and more leading from my heart. More finding the rhythm of nurture that works best for me, making that my days, and moving with intention from there. Which really is more of this year, minus the moments where I came a little unstuck...  

But honour tells me it was in those moments I learnt my greatest lessons, and walked away a stronger version of me.

Honour is where I want to lead from {a sense of honouring what's right at any given time for me}, follow from {honouring my heart's direction} and from where I will connect with all the parts of a happy and whole me {honouring my body, heart and mind with my choices, activities and time}.

My word is most definitely inspired by my reading of the book, The Way of the Happy Woman. Every word of Sara's resonates with me.

But it also stems from a lesson I know well. Honour {and witness} are a big part of the yoga I practise. Perhaps even the part of yoga I am called to the most right now. In my weekly classes, our teacher reminds us to honour our bodies, and honour where we're at and what we can do on this given day - remembering that our limits {needs, flexibility/balance, emotions, desires} change from day to day.

And so as I move through a sequence and after, I honour and witness my body, thoughts and emotions. And with that comes acceptance, sometimes insight, always presence. But first comes honour.

So this honouring - keeping it as my guide in all I set out to do and achieve - it feels most right for me now. And it feels as though I chose it as much as it chose me.

xx

~ Sharing my one word with Maxabella Loves here xx

Have you chosen one word to guide your 2014? x