Interrupt busy with slow

This year started off with the most wondrous of intentions. Intentions to move slowly, be grace, live purposefully, breathe with intention. And I'm not saying I haven't done all those things. To a wonderful extent I have. 

But then along came the chaos. The busy. I'm dubbing it "the scheduled life". When there's so much to be done, and so many commitments that all the moments seem played out in routine. It kills spontaneity. And it turns a slow and mindful rhythm into a routine. And to that mishaps and mess + throw in a tonne of winter colds and coughs. 

I felt it approaching a month or so back. I felt despair. And a whole lot alone and helpless in getting all the things done while carving out the slow, heart-centred rhythm that I need. {I've come to understand that slow and heart-centred is quite simply how I thrive.} 

To some extent, busy cannot be stopped. Maybe, like me, you have three young children. Or maybe, like old me, you have a busy corporate job that works to strict deadlines. It's hard to stop the busy when you simply have so much necessary stuff to be done. 

I've researched this very topic on a personal level for the past 10 years. Rushing and the stress that tagged along with it was making me sick. I needed the antidote to busy and rushing. And I have a conclusion: We need to be okay with some busy. Life simply demands it. But we don't need to become "busy". Busy doesn't need to be our state of being: our sense of self from the minute we open our eyes from sleep to the minute they close again at night. 

So, what to do?

Interrupt busy with slow. That there is my solution. And it's working. For me.

It means slowing down, and taking a dose of mindfulness to heart. But it doesn't mean becoming a constant state of slow and mindful. We can still be mindful and not practise mindfulness every single moment of our waking day. 

I say, begin with a handful of minutes. Or add an extra handful of minutes to your already mindful routine. I'm honestly talking about just a few minutes. And this isn't about setting aside time to be mindful. It's about choosing slow + mindful when your amidst busy. It's about noticing that busy pace, and choosing to interrupt it. 

I fold these mindful rituals into the everyday effortlessly. Because as well as slow and mindful, simplicity {for me} is key. 

RESET YOUR RHYTHM + When I'm running around in the mess that can be mornings with kids, I choose to step away from the chaos, step outside with my cup of tea. I savour those sips, I look to the sky, I breathe. I move slowly. Just for a minute, before joining the mess again. Albeit calmer and more mindful. 

LOOK TO NATURE + When I've had a busy morning or afternoon, I pull the car over by the sea* on my drive home. I step outside {or we step outside, as I almost always have children in tow} to watch the water, taking note of the rhythm the sea is moving to today, breathing deeply and fully, taking in that sea air.  

STEP OUTSIDE + I often choose to eat my lunch outdoors, especially if the sun is shining. I notice the feel of the sun on my face, it's warmth. I pause before eating to just breathe, to give thanks for this moment, my food, the sun's shine. I notice the sky's colour, the patterns of the clouds. I tend to eat slower when I do this. Eat more mindfully. I'm present.

JUST BREATHE + And when I simply can't make make my slow minutes an escape, I just take a minute to tune into my breath. I notice its pace. I listen to the inhalation / the exhalation. I invite myself to breathe deeper and slower than before, and to release that breath fully. I invite myself to move slower. To walk/speak/react at a slower pace. Just for a minute. 

To counteract life's busy, interrupt it. With slow. For me, it works.

xx

Will you give it a go? What activities help you stay centred and mindful in the here and now? I'd love to know. Elisa x

*Of course, not everyone lives close to the sea! But the sky is just as wondrous! Look to the patterns playing out across the sky from home or work, notice how it changes, notice how it's changed an hour later, tune into the rhythms of the sky as you could the sea. Just as expansive, just as mesmerising, ever-changing with the rhythms of life - as are we.     


--------- >> Learn about what's in my free mindfulness activity bundle for embracing slow + mindful, and tuning into the power of your breath here.  

--------- >> I have a new instagram account: @ohhelloheart xx

Taking a chance + starting before you're ready

I've realised {in the past couple months} that I find it easy to overlook myself in the day-to-day. And the problem with that - with not carving out minutes of your every day solely for you - is that soon those days become weeks, months and you look back and realise you've made loads of plans + let ideas swirl in your head... and that's where they've stayed. As floating ideas and hand-written plans. In a notepad.

I pretty much woke up to this realisation. Just woke up and thought, that's enough. 

I realised I don't actually believe in myself as much as I think I do.
I realised that taking a chance on me is damn scary.
I realised that I've been waiting for permission to give more of my heart's writing + soul's stirrings a real go. {Permission from who, I'm not quite sure.}
I realised that now's the time. {Actually, now is always the time.}
I realised that I'm very good at talking myself out of taking a chance.
I realised that even the thought of vulnerability cripples me {used to cripple me}.
I realised that living my truth - writing it, sharing it, speaking it - is where I want to be {always}.
I realised I was giving myself the opposite advice I'd give to my beautiful girls.
I realised if I didn't call myself out on this one. Say "that's enough" and actually mean it, I'd be moving in these circles for many years to come. 

And so, I scribbled words down on paper - words + feelings standing in my way. I came up with "taking a chance on me", "trust", "authenticity" + "vulnerability". And I've accepted they're all really good friends, and I no longer want them to be a roadblock in my way.  

So I've been breathing my way forward. 

This past month has been about pulling back, slowing down and breathing with intention. Focusing on what matters most. And that's meant little time for anything that's not mothering my three + nurturing my heart. 

I'm embracing my ideas little by little, and navigating them into existence slowly but surely. And I'm starting before I feel ready. And those little steps I'm taking, it turns out they feel like bounds once you make a few.

xx

Have you taken a chance on yourself lately? Have you started a new project recently? Any lessons on vulnerability you'd like to share? 

With big nourishing breaths + much much love, Elisa x


~~~~~~~~ >> FREE PRINTS + MINDFULNESS BUNDLE: Thank you to all the lovely people who have signed up early before my mindfulness bundle + breathe prints are ready! Thank you for taking a chance on me! I've added a couple simple meditations and the bundle is almost ready to send. You can check out what's included here. Elisa xx

~~~~~~~~ >> NEW INSTAGRAM: I've created a new instagram @ohhelloheart that's solely for my writing, mindfulness + meditation. Love you to come say hi! Elisa X

Big breaths, no tears

Big breaths have been taken this past week.

Because I'm trying my very best to get in some full nurturing breaths and create some extra comfort for me and room in this fast growing belly for baby.

Because focusing on my breath reminds me to slow.

Because I can't seem to schedule a yoga class this pregnancy, despite plenty of trying. And breathing is my favourite part of yoga.

Because we let go of our little girl that little bit extra this week and watched her dance on into her prep classroom, eager as ever for school to begin. There were no tears from her, and no tears from me but the letting go certainly stung a little.

Big breaths too because seeing her off to school saw me consumed by anxiety at the very last minute. Because what if I hadn't given her enough, shown her enough, taught her enough, been there enough... so many what ifs filled my head one sleepless night. And then early in the morning sleep finally arrived, as I comforted myself in the thought that I probably wasn't alone in feeling this way and remembered I've loved her as much as my whole heart can love, and isn't love always enough?

More big breaths to come this next week as miss three sets off for kindergarten. And with both my babes busy learning and having fun for five hours one day a week I plan on carving out a little time each morning before I get stuck into work that involves breathing, and pretty much nothing else. A few minutes where it's just me, the sound of the waves, time to just be and time to connect with baby. Creating space to slow, to tune in, to love. Creating space and joy.

xx

Wishing you nurturing breaths this week, and the next. Has this week been filled with starting something new for you too? x

~ Love that my hubby captured this image of me and my big girl on her first school morning. We had plenty of smiling photos. And then when I thought he had stopped snapping, she turned to me with a big hug: "Today is soooo exciting Mummy." 

Catching my breath + the happiest news

I've spent the past two months catching my breath (courtesy of a whirlwind of work, nausea, preparations for end of kinder / start of school for miss five, and exhaustion). 

And searching for more breath. (When breathwork is at the core of your meditation practise, a family of four taking turns at gastro then two weeks of a lingering cough/cold certainly gets in the way). 

And then finally making time to just breathe. 

And this time around just breathing meant abandoning a few of things I wanted to be doing, mainly being here writing about new-found joy, excitement, anticipation and all the growth these past five months have entailed.

Instead I found myself sitting a lot, witnessing, reflecting. And watching my girls (now five and three) ever so closely. All of sudden they seem so big, so grown up. I want to bottle their energy as it is now, to savour and remember these moments. I've felt scared I'll forget the little things they say, their laughter as it is now, us as we are now. Each day they are growing, changing, learning, and it felt like I couldn't keep up. 

A fortnight ago miss three and I sat in the grass. She picked daisies. I sat down to breathe, to stretch and soak up the sunshine, my camera by my side; and all the while admiring her abundance of energy - energy I was lacking. 

After beheading more daisies then her little hands could hold, she decided to slow down, join my pace and copy my pose - that's her in the image above.

And it was then I felt myself taking a deeper breath and only then noticing the breath cycle I'd be living in, despite stopping to breathe being a focus in my days.

It was then I realised I don't need to keep up with my girls, I just need to show up. To be there in the moment with them as much as I can; to love them; to be a witness to (and encourage) their curiousity, creativity, kindness, wonder and love; to share my heart with them and to sit back and soak up our days and our rhythms (even the messy ones) with a big breath. And to know and accept that there will be times I'll wish I'd done things differently. 

And as I step into week 21 of growing our newest baby girl - hopefully that explains my nausea, exhaustion and absence from the blog :) - I'm breathing easier than before; and making wishes for a new year with joy and love as our guides.

xx

How are you? Are you breathing freely? Any happy news to share? xx    

Hello heart

~ This piece was originally written for the free ebook Listen to the Voice of Your Heart but I just know these words are meant to be shared here too ~

Say inner compass and I get lingering with my heart. Always a good thing. This heart of mine has plenty to say. Only I spent a long while pushing it aside; ignoring its whispers and gentle tugs. I was too busy you see, listening to my head – it’s also never short of a word. 

Truth is {and I still get a little embarrassed admitting it} it took this body of mine falling apart – practically kicking and screaming at me from the inside – before I started listening. And when I did, when I first stopped to say hello heart, and listen for its answer – wow! My heart spoke words of wisdom, comfort and love – and it had the answers I’d been searching for, it knew how to heal, and it offered guidance as I navigated change. So much change.

The more I listen to my heart, the more wisdom it reveals. Here’s a little of what I’ve learnt, but of course the learning continues...

~ A heart practise makes me a better version of me.

Doing a little something that speaks to my heart each day is essential to my wellbeing. I used to think of this as indulgent. Not anymore. I know this makes me a better version of me. By tuning in to my heart, my core, my essence I not only give myself energy to simply be, but I create more energy to give.

Finding that little heart-centred something can be the tricky part, as well as finding the time. For me, a simple mindful exercise can be enough. Stepping outside, looking to the sky and giving thanks each morning (a two-minute ritual, perhaps less) can begin my day. Sometimes I’ll escape to the beach (often with my two daughters in tow) to sit and just be, to take photographs, to breathe. Some days it’s not until late at night when the house is quiet that I can find that heart time – and it’s often meditation, yoga or journaling that speak to my heart loudest. Sometimes stopping to check in with my breath can be enough, and less than a minute can be all it takes.

~ Just breathe.

At perhaps the most crucial, sometimes fear-driven, sometimes anxious and sometimes uncertain times of my life, I have turned to my heart and I’ve heard “just breathe”. Putting these two little words into action can be so powerful.

I like to remind myself that to breathe is to have life. And with each slow conscious inhalation and exhalation, I give myself an opportunity to tune into my heart and my body, to notice little moments, to reconnect, to simply be. Just breathing, placing one hand on my heart and one on my torso and feeling that breathe, being with that breath – that’s as good a meditation as any for me.

I think our hearts are full of lessons and love and a wondrous energy that thrives on connection. I think when we tune in to our hearts, when we really listen and express from there, that’s when anything is possible. I think that’s when we learn that something extra about ourselves that can be the change we need in our world.

xx

~ I wrote this piece for a free ebook by my inspiring friend Deb (jewelry designer, writer and author of the blog Inner Compass Designs). The nurturing ebook titled Listen to the Voice of Your Heart is filled with heart-centered words from 14 women sharing their journeys, their wisdom, their hearts, what they know to be true. You can download it for free here.

I'm listening

I wrote about the day I learnt to breathe a little more than a month ago now. And that night I journalled. And that night I asked my heart what makes it sing. And that night and for the forty-two days that have followed I've been reminded to just breathe. 

The words could have been so easy to ignore, but I've been listening. I abandoned the blog {not quite expecting to be away this long!}, and reworked my to-do list to include the essentials only. In doing so, I created time. Time filled with little things {and my little people}, moments that have made my heart soar, big breaths, long exhalations and a stronger, clearer idea of where I want to go from here.

It's reminded me that the advice and wisdom we share (hello learning to breathe fully, trusting where you're at, and finding something that nourishes your mind and heart) is most certainly the advice we need.

xx

What have you learnt this past month? What are you most grateful for? I hope your days have been happy and you've remembered to breathe xx


{Oh and my little escape has seen me forget about my first giveaway!! Winners of this "just breathe" print are Julie @ Off to the Park and Amanda @ Homely One. Please email me your postal address withgraceandeve@gmail.com and I will send your print xx}

The day I learnt to breathe

Learning to breath again. It sounds ridiculous I know, because we arrive here in a breath. And this breath of ours keeps us alive. But somehow, someway, and at some point I stopped breathing fully. Instead I engaged in a lively, rushed, frantic, stressed (but I wouldn't have admitted that to you at the time) out-of-control, desperately-seeking-control manner that became everyday life. And although I loved so many aspects of this life, it was messy. The stress part was messy, the rushing that kept me in a move-on-to-the-next-thing-without-taking-a-breath pattern was messiest. And that rushing meant I never really slowed enough to just be and connect with the inner me, never stopped to just breathe. So so far from the me I am today. Yet I remember so well how she felt. It hurts to feel like she did, but in a numb kind of way. 

And it feels like one day abruptly it all ended. But it wasn't really one day, not at all. It was a mammoth crescendo that started with my body falling apart (in so many ways: back aches and spasms, a breast tumour then an auto-immune disease to be more precise) and the end (which was kind of the start of change) was an 80km/hr head-on car crash. That's the part I want to talk about, because that's when I learnt to breathe again. 

It was eight years ago now. I was the passenger, my husband was driving. A car pulled out from the t-intersection four metres in front of us. He hit the brakes but there was no time to stop. I was looking at him on impact and if I hadn't been the doctors said my injuries would be a lot worse. I normally always cross my legs in the car too, and I remember noticing how straight I was sitting and upright minutes before the crash - I remember thinking how good my body felt sitting so still and straight and wondering why I didn't always sit like this. Later the doctors asked if I was sitting perfectly straight, because to not break bones was almost impossible.

My injuries were minimal soft-tissue ones, scratches and cuts - the airbag saved me yet did most of the damage. My face swelled an extra half its size and was covered in cuts, blood and bruising - as was my chest. I just remember noticing all the blood, pouring out my nose, tasting it in my mouth and knowing I needed an ambulance. It was me who called the ambulance, moments later interrupted by a man asking what I was doing, then promptly telling me to rest because he could make the call. I thought he was awfully rude, I was in control and could surely make the call myself! And the minute that thought entered my head I realised there was no control to be had here, and surrender was necessary. All at once I let go, all at once I felt my body relax in trust - that I would be cared for, that someone else had the situation and that would be okay. There was no rushing to be done, just waiting and breathing. Breathing was really all I could do. And breathing was all I needed to do.

As we arrived at the hospital I found myself alone lying on a trolley in a neck brace and panic set in. My breathing got shaky and became too fast. I tried to look around for someone, for help, but the white ceiling was all I got. 

Then a hand on mine. Just breathe, she said. It's all you have to do. You can help your body and mind with your breath too - you can manipulate your breath. Breathe deeper, all the way in. And slowly release. Just breathe. Slow your breath down, so all of you slows down....

She was an ambulance officer and I so wish I could remember her name. In those moments of reminding me to breathe, she changed everything for me. I wanted to get to know my breath. I wanted to just breathe. And just be. Breathwork became a part of my everyday. It still is. It's a big part of the meditation I practice and it reminds me always of the beauty, wonder and healing that can happen in a solo breath.

xx

Do you remind yourself to "just breathe" each day?

>> Want to be the first to receive my free mindfulness prints and the "breathe" meditation eBook I'm currently writing? I can't wait to send them your way. You can sign up for them here. <<